Funny Bits of Code


Let's post the funny bits of code we come across! (Won't that be fun?!?)

Here's a good one:

 options = Split("Butt;Hair;Muscles;Face", ";")

{if girl1.age<18:Really?  You know that's illegal, right?}

Is that real code, JC?

If so, I need to know which game it is, so I make sure NOT to play it!


We can't ask ladies how old they are, because most ladies either get offended, lie to us, or both.

So... To make sure a lady is of age, I just send her for a pack of cigarettes or some beer.

If she's not quite old enough to legally purchase either of these items, she might still successfully acquire said item, but that would probably be admissible in court. "But, Your Honor... She bought me beer and smokes on our first date! How could a minor do that?!?"

Yes, that's real gamebook code. And from the raunchier, X-rated version of Take Summer To The Beach, we find this gem:

{if summer.age > 18:She's your niece, not a porn star... try again.}

Yeah, some games are not meant to get published.


The only game with adult content I've ever played is BJ Drifter, and it's more humorous than anything, really.

I'm also keeping in mind that, not only is that code out of context, it's also morally sound! (Bwahahahaha!)

Oh, you meant funny-ha-ha! I thought you meant... oh, never mind!


Oh, JenniferCampbell...

If I don't laugh each time I read one of your posts, I at least smile!

Well, I hope you're laughing because I'm witty and funny and not laughing at my pathetic grasp of Quest and coding.


(I'm kidding, of course.)

Both witty and funny, I'll take it!


This is a nice, friendly forum, with lots of helpful information.

You can see a witty and a funny.

>get all
witty: The concept eludes you.
funny: You try to get it, but you simply don't find it all that amusing!

Hmmm... my inventory is still empty. I wonder why?

You want funny???
I did this bit in my Adventure game... It was not done in Quest, but I could be persuaded to convert it...

You have been just captured by the creatures that live in this cave system and they toss you in this cell, then send
in a female creature that will remove your clothes... But you have other ideas...

She squeals when you suddenly
grab her and turn her around and hold her tight. You call to whoever, or whatever, is at the door
to get it's attention, "Hey! I know you are there!" you call out as intimidatingly as you can,
"Let me go and this little girl will not get hurt!" You watch as a male creature steps into view,
and with a big smile, just pushes the door close and you hear the click of the lock, locking the door.
You hear him start to laugh as he walks away, "Food will be delivered when your clothes are out
the door." He stops and turns around, "And you better not harm her, she is one of the Matron's
favorite pets." He then turns back around and you watch as he walks out of sight...
You just stand there trying to figure out what happened. 'But, it always works in the movies...'
You are brought back to reality when the creature breaks free of your now loose grasp, and runs for
the gate which is still locked.

If you want to laugh at code I could just paste Act I and II of my game in it's entirety. I'm guessing that's too long a post though.
I'm not, not sure how to put this, great at coding.

It's still fun though.
To make the game I mean.

Not the code.
It's appalling.

Except for the bits I've got help with.
Those parts are no fun at all. They're effective and nice.

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