In two.
Both are the same
One is stationary
Spiralling in place
Round and Floating
Beating
Spinning
Almost shifting within itself
Waves rushing along its rhythm
The other shifting and swaying.
East
West
Swaying forward
Cold and warm
Long and distant
Crowded
Suffocating
Tight
Piercing
A spacious view
Free
In two
In one
Are one
[[I feel weird]]
Collection of tiny bursts
Micros and atoms forming
Pulling together with a sudden attraction.
Entwining
Dragging
Combining
Brewing in a sea of water
Relieving its code
creating a biome
Of gene and blood
It curdles, mincing together
[[Maybe I'm sick?]]
[[I think I might be->Conception, Section 4]]
[[It's probably nothing->Conception, Section 3]]
A tiny capsule given such burden
That seems so black and empty
Now tight and clear
Blue and pink
Red and yellow
White and painful
Fragile and soft
Becoming aware
But still uncertain
The very core produces a dull ache
[[It's positive]]
[[Why now?->NNNFFN, section 2]]
[[No! No! No! Fuck! Fuck No!->Conception, section 5]]
[[It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.->Whoa/Yes! section 1]]
[[Whoa?->Whoa/Yes! section 1]]
[[Finally->Whoa/Yes!]]
Morphing
Pushing
Curling
Pressure echoes within the blood stream
Pulsing through the water
Forming
Scrambling
Rocking
Back and forth
It becomes a tide
A rush of bubbles
The fusion is burning
[[Am I sick??]]
[[No!->Conception, section 5]]
[[I think I might be…->Conception, Section 4]]
[[Tomorrow keeps me awake]]
[[Yesterday weakens me stride]]
[[The worse will give me no surprise]]
Percussion shakes the cradle
Shivering and stirring
Jarring
Striking
The sea tremors vibrantly
Therapeutic
Slowly clashing against the lining
Softening
Whooshing
Swaying
Cooling against the hot sweat
[[Maybe it’ll be okay->Whoa/Yes! section 1]]
[[I don’t want this->Abortion, Section 1]]
[[I don’t think I’m ready yet->NNNFFN Section 3]]
Humming sooths the bed
Gentle swishing the cells inside
Sonic memories fade to senses
Multitude of shares are weighed down
Rippling through the veins
The torture is bliss
The pain is beauty.
It’s violent but empty
The form is dull
The feeling is numb
The regrets are little
Struggling voice
Emerges faintly
Overwhelmed by the water
Subdued by electric
The ripples shrink
[[Okay. Calm Down. Breathe ->Whoa/Yes! section 4]]
[[Oh Please! Oh no! ->Hospital, section 1]]
Stretching
Sheaving
Coiling together in a bundle
Fermenting with carbon
Placid with vials of yeast
The sound waves blast its bed.
Searing
Invigorating
Forgetful
Innocence
Ignorance of smoke
Arrogant to oil
Stubbornly beating
[[I don't have... ->NNNFFN Section 1]]
The dank smell ethanol
Soured my nose
My throat swollen with saliva
My head ruptured
The smiles of empty faces
Whined me in
Everything’s toxic
[[Keep Partying ->NNNFFN, Section 7]]
[[Leave Go ->NNNFFN, Section 4]]
Nauseous
Crazy
Itchy
My nails dig in me
Scratching my skin
Scraping
Grinding
Splitting the surface apart
My arm becomes red
[[I can’t do this ->Abortion, Section 1]]
[[I’m becoming restless ->Whoa/Yes! Section 3]]
[[I give tomorrow a new day]]
[[My voice doesn’t reflect me]]
[[The sun kiss smile]]
[[Seals a stone]]
[[Heavy]]
[[Sinking]]
[[My spirit wavers]]
...
...
(beating)
...
[[Maybe I should go get checked ->Hospital, section 1]]
[[Sing ->Whoa/Yes! Section 2]]
Forming
Squirming
Growing fingers and toes
Expanding
Scratching
Moving
Cradled in a ball
A little collection of cells
Beating
I open my eyes slightly
My consciousness is blurry
Can I really do this?
[[Yeah. I'm going to go fine. ->Pregnancy, Section 1]]
[[I'm not so sure ->Abortion, Section 1]]
Dragging
Spiralling
Pulling together with a sudden attraction
Everything are uncertain
Unware of its own existence
A collection of cells
Moves along a blurred screen
Black and White
The waters move
Whisking
Twirling
Swelling up to the walls
Ripples of pulse
Ticking against the waters
''Aren’t you please?''
[[Thank Heavens ->Pregnancy, Section 1]]
[[Why do I see feel uneasy? ->Whoa/Yes! Section 3]]
[[Thank you ->Whoa/Yes! section 4]]
My home is very strange
My walls are empty
Pink and blue
Water covers me
I have become to understand
Gaining the world’s experiences
My cradle trembles further
Water fills up
Spinning me around
What am I?
My song plays again
Humming
Whispers
Echoes
A trill of laughter
I want to move
But I'm still small
[[Ah. ->Pregnancy, Section 2]]
[[Nights and Days
Both torment me
I carry on my life
But the night mocks my sleep]]
Pressure tightens the ball
The world is falling
Adrenaline send the waters rapid
Cortisol sours the blood
Glucose enters the cradle
Thick and slurring
Adrenaline send the waters rapid
Spinning
Shifting
Turning
[[There are many options
It’s hard one
Pick one now
Regret it later
When I’m ready
Can you help
Tomorrow
Today
Both I can’t answer to
I can’t answer for
My head is reeling]]
[[''We’re here to help'']]
[[I’m really not ready ->Abortion, Section 3]]
[[I don’t think I can through with this ->NNNFFN Section 8]]
[[I need to think more ->Whoa/Yes! Section 3]]
Onions
Garlic
Sugar
Cream
Sour
Bitter and sweet
Everything I want to know
Can be tasted on tongue
Entering this ball
Bound by flesh and veins
The world’s flavours
Stew and trail to me
Rapid and constant
Desire unhinged
I crave more
[[I'm going to be sick ->Hospital, Section 4]]
[[Weeks switch to months]]
[[The home is swollen]]
[[Unware of its own existence]]
[[A collection of cells]]
[[Moves along a blurred screen]]
Pulling together with a sudden attraction
Dragging
Spiralling
Everything are uncertain
Black and White
The waters move
Whisking
Twirling
Swelling up to the walls
Ripples of pulse
Ticking against the waters
It waved
''Aren’t you please?''
[[Giggle ->Pregnancy, Section 3]]
[[Wow… It’s getting bigger? ->Abortion, Section 4]]
[[Wave back ->Pregnancy, Section 3]]
Currents washes in
The tide rises to the hilt
Swirling in creating pressure
Rocking the body against itself
Heaving
Heaving
Crashing against the body
Time becomes aloof
[[*screaming*]]
Scrapping against the lining
Intolerable
Intense
The wall start to spilt
The crown is coming
[[BLOODY TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL ->Hospital, section 5]]
Pressure tightens the ball
Cortisol permeates the bloodstream
Glucose fills the pool
Clogging the water
Thick and slurring
Adrenaline send the waters rapid
Spinning
Shifts
Turning
The cradle cries
The timid wailing
Stirs the home further
[[I’m going to be sick]]
[[Maybe, I’m not cut out for this? Maybe now’s not a good time. ->Abortion, Section 2]]
[[No. I’ll be fine. Nothing ever easy, but I’ll be fine. ->Pregnancy, Section 3]]
Pain
Tightness
Tears
And frustration
Contracting apart the world screams
Crying for relief
The cradle about to burst
Push
Push
Push
The pressure build too much
The skin is hot and flustered
Sweat pour down a sea of red
The body produces another
[[''*Screaming*'' ->Birth]]
Selection of choices given
From a brew of gene and blood
In a bed of black to white
A spacious view
Only a few metres away
In return comes beauty
Fragile by glace and touch
By a man in scrubs
To its mother with love
And father in sweats
… Maybe
I’m here
...
(beating)
...
(beating)
(beating)
Softly strumming
It hums
Vibrating
The soft melody merges with the core
Blending to euphony
[[Keep Singing ->Whoa/Yes! Section 6]]
[[There you go. Little solider. ->Whoa/Yes! section 4]]
The cradle cries
Wailing hits like thunder
The storm shudders its home
The body screams
Cortisol becomes chronic
Adrenaline tighten the throat
Glucose suffocates the ball
The waters become murky
The cradle gets bigger
The capsule brings pressure
[[It’s time to make a decision]]
[[Okay. It’s time ->Abortion, Section 2]]
[[Maybe I can do this ->Pregnancy, Section 1]]
I douse my body with hot water
Its cleansing
Washing away my stupidity
I feel more sane
Dropping to my bed
The mattress sucks me in
Soft
Warm
Light
I filling like I am floating
I drown myself with some music
Closing my eyes
Leaving my body to the temp
Tranquil songs sway me
Whisking me away
[[I’ve become immersed ->NNNFFN Section 8.2]]
I take my headphones out of my jacket
I selected my favourite music
And close my eyes
I slowly calm down
A pleasant sheet covers me
Absorbing the chaos
Delicate
Silken
The blanket drafts over
The discord of my thoughts
The noise within my body
Both become obscure
Only the quiet sound of my breathing is leaves me
Being scattered to all parts of my being
A faint breath escapes my lips
Time and time again
I’m sinking more deeply
[[Fall asleep ->Whoa/Yes! section 5]]
[[Start thinking calmly ->Whoa/Yes! section 4]]
Time is impatient
It provokes
Irritated
And works well with life
Both can be relentless
It draws ever closer
And the risks are small
The future is uncertain
Regretting today to live for tomorrow
Resenting yesterday
for a non-existent future
My decision is made
It’s right for me
I mourn for you
Remorseful and relieved
It’s both sour and sweet
Tomorrow comes Today
Forgive me
The rhythm and tempo
My heart and breathe
They tuned together little by little
Melting
Entwining
Mulling together
Becoming a surging influx
My body becomes a whirlpool
The orchestra permeates my skin
The melody stokes it softly
Riding throughout my body
It mingles with my blood
[[*Start dreaming* ->NNNFFN Section 8.3]]
[[A canvas of colours dance within my head
Its lights shine like a soft film
My sanctuary was speaking to me
Telling me I’m the only one allowed here
This place was only for me
It was mine]]
...
...
...
(beating)
[[Beating?]]
(beating)
(beating)
[[Heartbeat]]
...
[[That’s not mine]]
(beating)
A giggle mummers through the walls
[[They vibration shakes me from my sleep
My stomach is burning
Bursting with gunpowder]]
(beating)
...
[[Cry yourself to sleep ->NNNFFN, section 2]]
[[Please no. Go away. Please ->Miscarriage, section 9]]
Banging a symphony
Casting a fire
The cradle shakes and rumbles
Shattering
Collapsing
Pressure tighten within
Fireworks blasting
It’s electric
One
Two
Three
Five
The spark multiply
The cradle becomes full
*Screaming*
The waves swallowed my head
Ignoring my body’s cry
There’s blood
I’m bleeding
*crying*
I can’t move
*crying*
A light of colours dance within my head
Fleeting across my eyes lids
In a trance
They mould
Merge
Shimmer
Fading into noire
A soft film playing
Speaking to me
It’s only for me
It's for me
(beating)
...
(beating)
(beating)
[[Beating?]]
(beating)
(beating)
[[That’s not mine]]
(beating)
[[It shakes me from my sleep
My stomach is burning]]
Bursting with gunpowder
Cradle beats to drums
Taping
Tap
Tap
[[... ->Whoa/Yes! section 4]]
Sweet words hug the capsule
Stroking the ball gently
Warmth carries along the blue
The pink grows and hums back
Taping along the body
The beats spreads
Pounding through the bloody
Water seeps through the body
Cooling the sweat
[[You’re a little drummer ->Pregnancy, Section 1]]
[[The speakers bark at me
Drinks of yellow and green
Orange and amber
Shots of blue
Rush down my tongue
The siren wraps around my body
Swishing me against the blur
I laugh for no reason
I smile despite being confused
The world is in a drunken euphoria
Considerations
Worries
Pain
I had none
I have none]]
[[This part of me is everything ->Miscarriage, section 5]]
[[Flock of guilt boils within
It emulsifies
Bubbling
Fizzing
Foaming
The froth slithers up my neck
Burning my month
A detox of sin in my throat]]
[[Throw up ->Miscarriage, section 6]]
[[Go lay down ->NNNFFN Section 8]]
[[A palette of colours covered the basin
I rest myself against the wall
The cold tiles sooth my head
A warm stream fills my body
The waves swirling within my head
Ignoring my body
Screaming
Crying in pain
Everything was so comfortable
My brain was calm
Buzzing
Cold
Numb
My stale breath
I’m tired
I’m bleeding
There’s so much blood?]]
...
...
...
[[Everything fading
I'm so tired
It's gone black]]
[[The jeers and laughter
Faded within me
Mixing the with the music
Controlling my rhythm
I smile
I’m spinning
Everything is gone
The siren call flashes blue
Bright
Screaming
I'm laying on a bed
While everything around me was rushing
I can't do anything
I don't understand
Where am I?
Cold
Numb
Calm
I inhaled drug fuelled air
I’m bleeding
Why is there so much blood?
Why won’t anyone hear me?
There’s so much blood]]
...
[[*crying*]]