You awaken on a Thursday morning in the middle of football season. Today you are going to be a guest on the 06010 podcast. But first, you need to find a way to ESPN HQ and to the podcast studio without too much hustle. A couple of transportation options are available to you as you walk out your hotel. Which do you take?
[[Nate's High Horse]]
[[An old Berrymobile]]
[[A cone-shaped rocket]]
[[This is too much hustle, you turn back.]]
Though it's awfully hard to see the road from up on your high horse, you eventually make your way to ESPN HQ.
[[Continue|ESPN HQ]]
The car is old and beat-up, but it gets you there. Plus the horn sound is "You Like That?", which makes you chuckle after narrowly avoiding an accident.
[[continue|ESPN HQ]]
You strap in and blast off on the rocket, narrowly avoiding a serious injury upon landing. You decide not to test the curse of Stephania Bell any further and head inside ESPN HQ.
[[continue|ESPN HQ]]
Congratulations! You've succeeded in not hustling and instead you faithfully download and don't listen to the podcast later that day.
The End
[[But what if things had been different?|Beginning]]
You arrive at ESPN HQ and ask for directions to the podcast studio, but nobody at ESPN knows what the 06010 podcast is. You decide to find your own way and are faced with a few options.
[[Go left]]
[[Go straight]]
[[Go right]]
[[Enough hustling, time to go home|This is too much hustle, you turn back.]]
As you round the corner, you notice a hooded figure making off with what looks like THE Stephania bell. You are not sure how you should approach the situation. You...
[[snatch the bell from their hands and run away]]
[[follow them]]
[[invoke Arrowhead]]
You find a game of cornhole set up in the hallway with no one else around. You have a few minutes, so you consider whether to play for a little bit or not.
[[You decide not to play and move on, that would be an unfair advantage]]
[[You decide to take some warm-up throws]]
As you make your way down the hall, you notice former Co-Host of the 06010 Nate Ravitz, no doubt pushing some papers somewhere important. You decide the best way to approach this situation is to...
[[call him a weasel]]
[[do your best high horse neigh as you gallop by]]
[[Nate who?]]
You approach the outside of the studio where Secret Squirrel is waiting for you. After giving you a quick tutorial of the podcast equipment, he takes you to his station, where he has a couple of drops on standby. After asking permission, you decide to hit the...
[[name game drop]]
[[SportsCenter sound drop]]
[[Ow! My finger! drop]]
You wrest the bell from the hooded figure's hands and run away, only to fumble it after a few steps. You decide to stick to fantasy football as you sheepishly walk away without saying anything.
[[continue|Outside the studio: no bell]]
You follow the hooded figure down a few hallways, only to end up on the set of SportsCenter. You immediately get distracted and lose them in the commotion of the set. Disappointed, you turn to leave and acidentally bump into Jaymee Sire, spilling her drink all over her Afghan sweater. You apologize and move on before you cause any more trouble.
[[continue|Outside the studio: no bell]]
The hooded figure looks briefly in your direction then moves on, ignoring you. Maybe you should have said "Dating back to..." instead.
[[continue|Outside the studio: no bell]]
Against your better judgment, you trust that your cornhole skills are good enough without any warm-up should any competitive betting scenario happen.
[[continue|Outside the studio]]
After a healthy number of practice throws, you are challenged to a game by a random stranger. You easily defeat him and he moves on with his life, never mentioning anything about fairness or sportsmanship.
[[continue|Outside the studio]]
You approach the outside of the studio where Secret Squirrel is waiting for you. After giving you a quick tutorial of the podcast equipment, he asks you if you happened to have seen THE Stephania bell anywhere. You tell him...
[[Yes, but that you couldn't hustle enough to get it back]]
[[No. After all, that could have been any bell]]
Nate looks at you dumbfounded and says "Really?" as you gallop by. You continue on your way without a care in the world up on your high horse.
[[continue|Outside the studio]]
You do your duty and call Nate a weasel. He laughs and shakes your hand, but quickly excuses himself to finishing pushing his papers. You move on to the studio.
[[continue|Outside the studio]]
You hit the name game drop and it is one that you haven't heard before. You ask Secret Squirrel who made it but he forgets. You go and take your seat in the podcast studio and wait for Matthew and Field.
[[continue|start of podcast]]
Despite not working for ESPN, you decide you are a company man anyway and hit the drop. You go and take your seat in the podcast studio and wait for Matthew and Field.
[[continue|start of podcast]]
You hit the drop, chuckle, and walk away, only to stub your toe. Now the latest victim of the curse of Stephania Bell, you limp your way to your seat in the podcast studio and wait for Matthew and Field.
[[continue|start of podcast]]
Secret Squirrel laughs and says "I think you'll fit in just fine today". You go and take your seat in the podcast studio and wait for Matthew and Field.
[[continue|start of podcast]]
Secret Squirrel nods and says "Oh well, it's not like it hasn't been missing before". You go and take your seat in the podcast studio and wait for Matthew and Field.
[[continue|start of podcast]]
Matthew and Field finally make their way in to the studio. After some introductions and preparation for the podcast, you begin. Matthew decides to open the podcast with a story that, although boring, is at least long. Things start to get off the rails and Secret Squirrel motions to you to get Matthew's attention. You decide to...
[[Insult his Washington professional football team]]
[[Mention how much you love Jeff Fisher]]
[[Squeeze the Bitter Berry repeatedly]]
[[Too late, you've already fallen asleep]]
You interrupt Matthew by saying that his Redskins are the worst team in the NFC East and that Kirk Cousins was a fluke. Matthew pauses for a second and opens his mouth to respond when Secret Squirrel mercifully plays the opening drop. You quickly apologize and move on, agreeing that the Redskins are only the second worst team in the NFC East.
[[continue|Starfania]]
You interrupt Matthew by saying that this is the year Jeff Fisher goes 9-7. Matthew begins to laugh mid-sentence and pauses long enough for Secret Squirrel to mercifully play the opening drop. You quickly explain that you were only joking and that the Rams will be lucky to go 7-9 this year.
[[continue|Starfania]]
You notice the Bitter Berry is in studio and you quickly grab and squeeze it (After all, you did lose your fantasy matchup last week by one point. One point!). Matthew takes the hint and wraps up his story, allowing Secret Squirrel to mercifully play the opening drop.
[[continue|Starfania]]
The podcast continues with Matthew and Field negotiating a new board bet over who would win in a game of skee-ball. You are thinking about how disappointing that it is that Stephania Bell is not here when you see STARfania herself outside of the studio. As she struts by with her assistants and numerous paparazzi in tow, you excuse yourself from the studio for a minute to ask her a quick injury question. You ask her...
[[What the deal is this time with Alshon Jeffrey's hamstring]]
[[If Jimmy Graham will recover from his patellar tendon injury sometime this decade]]
[[How Tony Romo managed to break his collarbone twice in one game last week]]
Seeing your lack of hustle, Secret Squirrel can't help but grin as he plays the airhorn drop to get you to wake up. Matthew takes another 10 minutes to finish his story before Secret Squirrel mercifully plays the opening drop.
[[continue|Starfania]]
Stefania answers you, saying how she's never seen anything like this in her long and illustrious career. Lucky for you though, you traded away Romo right before the injury. Nevertheless, you thank her and distract the paparazzi long enough for her sneak off and go about her business.
[[continue|Mike Clay]]
You walk back into the studio to find things once again off the rails. After a quick name game to get things back on track, Mike Klay finds his way into the studio. You sense that there could be some trouble between him and Field about to happen, so you swiftly defuse the situation by...
[[Distracting Field with a story about your recent trip to Nantucket]]
[[Distracting Mike by saying how much you love Jeremy Langford]]
[[Doing nothing, this should make for good radio]]
Though you've never been to Nantucket, you mention something about shirtless days spent on the beach and that is enough for Field to launch into his own tangent. Matthew and Mike quickly work out their business while Field is talking and the podcast proceeds without incident.
[[continue|Interview]]
Before you can even finish your sentence, Mike launches into a tirade, mentioning something about drops, yards per carry, and tackles avoided. As your head starts to spin, Mike forgets why he came to the studio in the first place and leaves, still frustrated that Jeremy Langford has the running back job in Chicago.
[[continue|Interview]]
You stay quiet, hoping for some kind of brouhaha to happen between Field and Mike. Matthew seems on board as well, but Secret Squirrel, being the voice of reason, decides that we can't go having //another// fight in the podcast studio and sends things to break.
[[continue|Interview]]
As the nothing but nonsense drop finishes, it becomes time for your interview. To kick things off, Matthew realizes that he doesn't remember why you are supposed to be here on the podcast today and asks you: "Why are you here again?"
[[You did a promotion with Matthew a few years ago]]
[[You went to middle school with Field a few years ago]]
[[You asked politely]]
[[It's a Thursday show, what else were they going to do?]]
"Oh right", Matthew recalls as he explains how easy it is for him to forget when you do as many promos as he does. Regardless, you proceed through the interview and Matthew makes no fewer than three promos in the process.
[[continue|End]]
The others crack up at your funny and original joke and you proceed to make jokes about Field's boyish looks for the next 5 minutes. The interview continues and you all agree to go out for drinks later, assuming Field has a fake ID that he can use.
[[continue|End]]
You explain that you actually just asked politely in an email to be on the podcast. Since no one had thought to try, they agreed. By the end of the interview, you felt that they were glad that they did.
[[continue|End]]
Though you answered their question with another question, Matthew and Field agreed that it was a pretty slow news day and carried on with the interview. All sorts of gleeful nonsense ensued and you even got to participate in an edition of Matty's dating advice corner.
[[continue|End]]
As the podcast comes to a close, Mattthew heads towards the studio door, saying that he has to go be on SportsCenter for 45 seconds. You are reminded to download and not listen to the podcast later today and you realize that you should get going as well.
[[You thank them for the mediocre experience, and head on your way|The end]]
The End
Thanks for playing the 06010 Adventure!
You ignore Nate and move on, trying instead to think up a joke about how young Field looks.
[[continue|Outside the studio]]
Stefania name drops the Bears beat writer and states that although Jeffrey has been saying he's "good to go" during interviews, he's still listed as questionable and hasn't been a full participant in practice. Dismayed, you thank her and distract the paparazzi long enough for her sneak off and go about her business.
[[continue|Mike Clay]]
Stephania laughs but then proceeds to recite the results of dozens of medical studies over the last few years about athletes' recoveries from various injuries. Though impressive, your head starts to hurt from all this knowledge and you remember that you didn't even draft Graham. You thank Stephania and distract the paparazzi long enough for her sneak off and go about her business.
[[continue|Mike Clay]]