Back in my day, I was a star. I was the greatest marathon runner in the country. There wasn’t a person arrive who didn’t know the name Henry Hardback. I was so fast that I left every competitor I ever met in my dust. I won medal after medal and broke countless records. But, after years of running, I began to slow down. I just couldn’t run like I used to. With a heavy heart, I put up my running shoes and went into retirement.
Twenty years later, I got a phone call in the middle of the night. A friend of mine told me to turn on the sports channel. Apparently, this new kid named Jack O’Haire managed to beat my old records. I turned on the TV and saw this clip of an eighteen year old kid winning a marathon. The thing that stuck with me was how fast he was. The camera’s could barely keep up with this kid’s speed.
[[Call O’Haire]]
[[Go Cry In The Corner]]After that I called O’Haire up. Wished him congratulations. You know, common courtesy between two athletes. The kid laughed in my face. Said that he couldn’t believe an old timer like me thought he was worthy of talking to the great Jack O’Haire.
I’m not gonna lie, that made me mad. I yelled at O’Haire and told him that, if I was still in my prime, I would smoke him. He said that I was just some old bastard who was a shell of his former self. Now, this made me really mad.
[[Challenge O’Haire]]
[[Admit he’s right]]I was so distraught over finding out that my records had been broken, I curled up in a ball in the corner and cried. The end.I told O’Haire that I would gladly come out of retirement to kick his ass.
And so, the great race between Henry Hardback and Jack O’Haire was conceived. The race was to be a grueling twenty mile trek around a mountain. The fateful day arrived and O’Haire and I went to our starting places. O’Haire was dressed in this fancy white bodysuit and strolled up to the starting line with a hoard of fangirls. Me? I showed up alone wearing my old green shorts and tank top from my runner days.
The gun went off and O’Haire shot out of the gate like a bullet. In an instant, the kid was out of my vision. He was faster than I had ever been. I considered giving up.
[[Give Up]]
[[Continue Racing]] As much as I hate to admit it, the kid was right. I hadn’t ran in twenty years. O’Haire was an amazing runner, maybe even greater than I was in my prime. With a heavy heart, I hung up the phone and went to bed. The end.
He wasn’t just fast. He was like lightning. I knew that trying to beat him was pointless. I through in the towel and went home. The end.
Still, I kept trudging along, keeping a good pace. After a few minutes, I came across O’Haire, laying in the middle of the road. I asked him what was wrong and he laughed at my face.
He started running circles around me and explained that he was so fast that he could take a dozen naps and still beat me. I felt the growing urge to punch him in the face.
[[Punch O’Haire in the face]]
[[Try to prove him wrong]] I punched him in his face. Yeah, it was stupid and childish. But, honestly, the kid had it coming. O’Haire ran off after that, leaving me in his dust once more. Still, I kept trudging along. The marathon was tough. The sun scorched my skin and gallons of sweat fell from my pours. The thought of taking a break kept repeating in my head.
[[Take a break]]
[[Keep Running]]
I pushed down the urge to hit O’Haire and kept running. O’Haire ran off after that, leaving me in his dust once more. Still, I kept trudging along. The marathon was tough. The sun scorched my skin and gallons of sweat fell from my pours. The thought of taking a break kept repeating in my head.
[[Take a break ]]
[[Keep Running ]] After a short rest, I made my way to the finish line. O’Haire was standing there, a smug grin on his face. He’d one while I was resting. I guess he was right, after all. I really am a shell of my former self. The end.A kept running and eventually made my way to the finish line. O’Haire was standing there, a smug grin on his face. The punch must have spurred his confidence and inspired him to run harder than ever. I guess he was right, after all. I really am a shell of my former self. The end. After a short rest, I made my way to the finish line. O’Haire was standing there, a smug grin on his face. He’d won while I was resting. I guess he was right, after all. I really am a shell of my former self. The end.Still, I kept trudging along. See, although my speed has left me in my old age, I still have my secret weapon that allowed me to win so many races back in the day: my endurance. So, as the day grew long, I kept trudging along.
As I closed in on the finish line, I heard the sound of rapid footsteps, a sound I knew was O’Haire trying to catch up.
I won by a fraction of a second. O’Haire couldn’t believe it, an oldtimer like me outrunning him. Guess it just goes to show you: Slow and Steady wins the race.
O’Haire meekly came up to me after the race and congratulated me on beating him.
[[Shake His Hand]]
[[Spit In His Face]] I smiled and shook the kid’s hand. I’ve never been one to hold a grudge. Besides, what’s the point in kicking someone when they’re down?
O’Haire asked me to be his mentor after that. I agreed and taught him how to keep running even when your legs beg you to stop. With my help, the kid managed to win medal after medal. The end.
I spat in his face. I know it’s mean, kicking someone when they’re down, but this kid had it coming. That was the last race O’Haire ever ran. I guess losing to an old timer like me made him to depressed to keep running. I’m not sorry. Kid deserved to be knocked down a peg. The end.