You open the door to your right to find your mom and dad having sex. Your dad stops thrusting and turns around, his face covered in sweat.\n\n"Son..." he says.\n\nYou black out.\n\nTHE END\n\n[[click here]]

You guzzle the Red Pigeon energy drink. Mmm! Tasty!\n\nYou're not sure if peacocks should consume energy drinks, but whatever.\n\nYou pull out of the driveway and head to the [[offices]] of Kilmer Kocks inc., a multi-national business specializing in the creation of Val Kilmer-related sex toys.\n\n

An alarm clock rings through the small room. It reads "9:15." Your job interview is in 45 minutes.\n\nYou stand up and shake out your feathers. You are peacock.\n\nThe room is almost empty, except for a [[bed]] of straw in the center and a bunch of junk food wrappers scattered everywhere.\n\nThe [[clock]] is still going off.

You realize you're too nervous for this job interview and chicken out. \n\nAfter some thought, you decide you don't want to be a job-having peacock and go out to live in the wild with the other peacocks.\n\nYou live happily ever after.\n\n[[click here]]

[img[cover.png]]\n\n[[click here]]

"Uh huh..." says Mr. Gobbleton, looking concerned. "I can see that."\n\nProbably not a good opener...\n\n"Anyway, I've taken a look at your resume and I'm quite impressed! Tell me, do you feel qualified to design sex toys inspired by the great Val Kilmer?"\n\n[[Bawk! (Yes, I have quite a lot of experience in design!)]]\n\n[[Bawk bawk bawk! (Of course I do, otherwise I wouldn't be here, you slimy dickbutt!)]]

Mr Gobbleton smiles. "I like the honesty!"\n\nHe makes a few notes on a piece of paper.\n\n"That should do it! We'll call you in about a week and let you know if you got the job. Goodbye!"\n\nYou shake his hand and leave.\n\nThey never call you back. You did not get job. So sorry.\n\n[[click here]]

Mr. Gobbleton's smile curls into a scowl.\n\n"Get..." he says, quivering with rage. "Get the fuck out of here..."\n\nOops. You did not get job.\n\n[[click here]]

You head down to the kitchen and fry yourself up some bacon and eggs (over-easy). Delicious!\n\nYou feel full and content! Unfortunately it took too long to cook everything so you missed your interview. Rats!\n\n[[click here]]

You walk out into a hallway. There are three doors here. One to your [[left]], one to your [[right]], and one [[at the end]] of the hallway.

You sit down on the chair in front of Mr. Gobbleton's desk. It's fairly comfy.\n\n"So" says Mr. Gobbleton. "Tell me a little about yourself and why you want to work at Kolmer Kocks."\n\n[[Bawk bawk (I love Val Kilmer sex toys. I am passionate about them!)]]\n\n[[Bawk (I am peacock. Give me job.)]]

Mr. Gobbleton nods.\n\n"Good," he says. "Good to hear. Tell me, do you feel you can fit in with the culture of this company?"\n\n[[Bawk! (Yes! Yes, of course! I'm very personable!)]]\n\n[[Bawk? (It depends. Do they like watching the show 'Charmed' here?)]]

You turn off the alarm. Time to get [[dressed]]

Oh wait. That's right. You are peacock. You can just be naked, as it is still socially acceptable for peacocks to be nude. How joyous!\n\nWill you leave for the [[interview]] now or will you make [[breakfast]] first?

Mr. Gobbleton smiles. "Good!" he says. "That's good to hear! I love the enthusiasm! You resume is also quite impressive!"\n\n[[Bawk! (Thank you, sir! I have plenty of experience in design!)]]\n\n[[Bawk Bawk! (Thanks! I'm also pretty good at dick-slangin'!)]]

The receptionist greets you with a smile. Hello, Mr... uhhh... peacock. How may I help you?\n\n[[Bawk (I'm here for a job interview)]]\n\n[[BAWK! (I'm gonna frame you for murder!)]]

You haven't been to the [[reception desk]] yet, you silly peacock! Be polite like humans!

You walk into Mr. Gobbleton's office.\n\n"Ah!" says Mr. Gobbletone, dressed in a snazzy purple suit patterned with Val Kilmers face.\n\n"Here you are! [[have a seat]]!"

"Kidding!?" Mr. Gobbleton becomes red with rage.\n\n"We don't appreciate 'humor' around here, Mister Man! Get out of my fucking office!"\n\nI guess you did not get job...\n\n[[click here]]

No time for breakfast! You head out to the car to leave for your interwiew. There is a Red Pigeon energy drink in the cup holder from yesterday. Will you drink the [[energy drink]] or [[keep going]]?

You are Peacock, Get a Job!

Mr. Gobbleton becomes furious.\n\n"Bullshit!" he shouts. "I'm sick of that stupid answer! Get the fuck out, you floppy crockodile dick!"\n\nYou did not get job.\n\n[[click here]]

"Ah, yes!" says the receptionist. "Mr. Gobbleton is expecting you! You'll find his office on the [[second floor]]!

"Charmed?!" exclaims Mr. Gobbleton, flabberghasted. You actually watch that pile-of-shit show?!\n\n[[Bawk bawk (Yes, it's very good if you give it a chance)]]\n\n[[Bawk... bawk (Er...nope. Just kidding!)]]

"I see. Great!" he says.\n\n"Now tell me, what would you say is your worst feature?"\n\n[[Bawk bawk bawk (I think I sometimes care just a little too much...)]]\n\n[[Bawk (Chronic masturbation.)]]

Mr. Gobbleton looks concerned.\n\n"What is... dick... slangin'?"\n\n[[Bawk bawk bawk (It's where you dance to music by whipping your dick around to the beat.)]]

"That sounds..." says Mr. Gobbleton. "That sounds fantastic! \n\nCongratulations, you're hired!"\n\nYou got job! YOU WIN!\n\nGame made in TWINE by Benny Disco.\n\nThanks for playing!\n\n[[click here]] to start over. You know, if you want.

The lobby for the Kilmer Kocks Inc. office building is calm and quiet as you enter. The sound of Two Princes by The Spin Doctors drifts down from the ceiling speakers.\n\nThere are [[elevators]] and a [[reception desk]] here.

You decide you don't need the extra energy and pull out of the driveway. Later on, as you merge onto the highway, you pass out and get into a firey car crash. You die, along with 19 other people, half of them children. You monster!\n\n[[click here]]

You lie down in the cozy bed of straw and go to sleep.\n\nGAME OVER! YOU DID NOT GET JOB!\n\n[[click here]]

The receptionist, like, totally freaks out and calls the police.\n\nYou are now a wanted man, riding down the highway in a badass convertible, living with no rules in the 1960s.\n\n"Highway to the Danger Zone" plays as you cruise off into the distance.\n\nRoll Credits.\n\n[[click here]]

You are in the parking lot of Kilmer Kocks Inc.\n\nWill go go into the [[lobby]] or are you too [[scared]]?

"Impossible!" says Mr. Gobbleton. "Trying new things scares me." \n\nHe shakes his head. No... No I don't think you'll fit in here at all. Get the hell out."\n\nYou did not get job.\n\n[[click here]]

Benny Disco

You ride the elevator up to the second floor as "Reach for the Stars" by S club 7 plays.\n\n"I WILL reach for the stars!" you think to yourself. "I will become peacock with job at last finally! What wonderment awaits me in world of job?"\n\nThe elevator goes "DING!" you're on the second floor now. The doors [[open]].

"Hmmmm..." Mr. Gobbleton stares at you, then shakes his head.\n\n"Nope. Sorry. I don't see it. Especially since you're a filthy peacock. Get out of my sight, you worthless Koala turd!"\n\nOh no! You did not get job!\n\n[[click here]]

You open the door to come face-to-face with a gang of Grimaces. Their large, purple bodies close in around you.\n\n"You walked into the wrong room, buddy" one of them says, pulling out a switch-blade.\n\nYou are never seen again.\n\n[[click here]]