You settle on blue.\n\n[[Flash|Flash]]
Sometimes you pretend to be okay.\n\n[[Back|Weep]]
Worthless.\n\n[[Die|Die]].\n\n[[Turn up the volume even more|Even more volume]] to try and escape?\n
It isn't your problem any more, it doesn't affect you.\n\n[[Back|More volume]]
You can't do any of that.\n\n[[You sigh|Sigh]].
[[No|Never]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume more|More volume]]
You aren't a child anymore. [[Apparently|Apparently]].
[[Curl into a ball|Curl]]
You tear off your headphones.\n\n[[You weep|Weep]].
You [[don't|Don't]].
Lightning strikes, it makes the wall go a [[colour|Colour]].\n\nIt [[flashes|Flash]] again
[[No|Fine]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume more|More volume]]
You [[can't|Can't hear]] hear him anymore.\n\nYou are [[alone in your head|Alone]].
THEN [[TRY HARDER|TRY]].\n\nOH GOD PLEASE [[ESCAPE|ESCAPE]]
Lightning
You settle on white.\n\n[[Flash|Flash]]
It makes your ears sting, but it's so much better than the alternative.\n\n[[Curl into a ball|Curl for real]], or [[turn it down|Self hate]]?
[[No|Not happening]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume more|More volume]]
you just [[can't be bothered|tired]].
You empathise.\n\n[[Back|Howling]]
You're [[meant|Meant]] to feel better now.\n\n[[You fall asleep|Asleep]].
You don't.\n\n[[Back|Let it all out]]
You're [[doing so little|Failure]].\n\n[[Turn up the volume even more|Even more volume]] to try and escape?\n
No hoper.\n\nIt's all [[meaningless|Meaningless]].\n\n[[Turn up the volume even more|Even more volume]] to try and escape?\n
You look up. Helping would require moving across the room, opening the door, going downstairs, then comforting him.\n\nLightning flashes again.\n\n[[You do all of that|Do all]].
FUCK YOU.\n\nDIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE\n\n[[BACK|WANT]]
[[No|Nope]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume more|More volume]]
[[You try to do all of that|Try]].
You [[ignore|Ignore]] that it clearly has.
POUND POUND POUND\n\nTHERE IS NOTHING ELSE, ONLY THE MUSIC, IT POUNDS, IT POUNDS, IT POUNDS, [[IT POUNDS|POUND POUND]]\n\n[[Turn it down|Self hate]]?
[[Close your eyes|Deprivation]]
Failure.\n\nBut [[why bother doing anything?|No hoper]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume even more|Even more volume]] to try and escape?\n
You cry for a long time.\n\nYou [[fall asleep|Asleep]].\n\nIt's close enough to death.
you're so tired.\n\nyou [[weep|weep]].
You have nightmares.
The bastards will never let you die if you end up in a hospital.\n\n[[Back|Die]]
This is [[much scarier than lightning|Much scarier]].\n\nYour mind [[wanders|Wanders]].
Life has exhausted you again.\n\n[[Dream|Nightmare]]
You [[lie|Lie]] on the floor.\n\nYou [[let it all out|Let it all out]].
You start to breathe normally.\n\nYou feel [[foolish|Foolish]].
[[Fine|Headphones off]].
[[No|No]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume more|More volume]]
Orangeban
You know what's coming.\n\n[[Turn up the volume even more|Even more volume]] to try and escape?\n\nOr [[let it wash over you|Self hate]]?
Don't you think that you want to?\n\nDON'T YOU THINK THAT [[YOU'VE TRIED|YOU'VE TRIED]]?\n\nWHAT DO YOU THINK YOU [[WANT?|WANT]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume even more|No escape]] to try and escape?\n
You can't tell which colour, it's too fast. [[Blue?|Blue]] [[White?|White]]
(I request you put on some music at this point. Preferably with headphones. Turn up the volume as is indicated, if that's possible)\n\n[[Close your eyes|Close]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume|Volume]]
Why bother? Why run? It's right. Jesus, it's so fucking right.\n\n[[Back|Die]]
It's just a pretense for you to indulge in some self-loathing after all. Reality doesn't matter.\n\n[[Back|Foolish]]
The [[doctors|Doctors]] will never let you die if you end up in a hospital.\n\n[[Back|Die]]
POUND POUND POUND POUND\n\nIT HURTS SO MUCH BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD.\n\n[[IT'S IN YOUR NERVES, IN YOUR BONES|YOUR NERVES]].\n\n[[Turn it down|Self hate]]?
You mumble an apology.\n\n[[Back|Coward]]
[[No|No way]]\n\n[[Turn up the volume more|More volume]]
[[Lightning's never killed anyone|Never killed]] you scold yourself.\n\nThe dog is [[howling|Howling]].
THIS TIME YOU [[WILL|WILL]].
[[You don't do any of that|Don't do]].
POUND POUND POUND POUND.\n\n[[It pounds at your skull|Pound]].\n\n[[Turn it down|Self hate]]?
You really do it this time. Fuck respectability.\n\nYou turn it up even more.\n\nPOUND POUND POUND POUND. You wince and bite your tongue, the pain is huge. You turn it up, nothing else will stop your mind killing you.\n\nYou [[feel it in your brain|POUND]].\n\n[[Turn it down|Self hate]]?
POUND POUND POUND POUND POUND\n\nITS TOO MUCH, POUND POUND POUND, ITS POUND SO POUND MUCH POUND POUND\n\nPOUND POUND\n\nPLESAE POUND\n\nPOUND POUND MAKE IT POUND\n\nPOUND STPO POUND SPOT POUND TSPO POUND\n\n[[STOP|STOP]]
You would have to [[take off your headphones|Take off]] first.\n\n[[Turn up the volume more|More volume]].
[[Coward|Coward]].
[[Turn up the volume even more|Even more volume]] to try and escape?\n\nOr [[let it wash over you|Self hate]]?
Without purpose.\n\nWithout purpose is without worth.\n\n[[Just like you|Worthless]].\n\n[[Turn up the volume even more|Even more volume]] to try and escape?\n
He is [[still howling|Don't care]].\n\n[[Back|More volume]]
THIS TIME [[YOU|YOU]]
He [[hates|Hates]] thunder.\n\nYou [[should|Should]] comfort him.
A tie hooked to the top of a door.\n\nA tie hooked onto the top of some stairs.\n\nA bag over your head.\n\nA train you just missed walking in front of.\n\nA car not quite going fast enough to bother with.\n\nA building not quite tall enough for you not to risk [[serious injury|Serious injury]].\n\n[[Back|Die]]
You take them off. He's [[still howling|Still howling]].
POUND IT POUND HURTS POUND IT POUND HURTS POUND\n\n[[YOU HAVE DIED|POUND DEAD]], REALITY IS GONE, ONLY THE MUSIC REMAINS\n\n[[Turn it down|Self hate]]?
You put your headphones back on to [[drown out the dog|Drown out]].\n\nYou [[turn up the volume|More volume]].
[[Turn up the volume|Deprivation]]
That would be [[childish|Childish]].\n\nStill, it unnerves you. You move back from your lamp; you already [[unplugged|Unplugged]] it, but fear and rationality are mutually exclusive for you.\n\nYou reach for your [[headphones|Headphones]].
You're definitely still a child.\n\n[[Please curl up into a ball|Curl]]
Safety first.\n\n[[Back|Curl]]