You are born in Hong Kong.
[[Keep going |3 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
People cry. Mourning. Your friends, your relatives, your family members, are all here. You are able to hear what they say vaguely. You want to look out but you find yourself stuck in the coffin. You want to scream to the utmost but no word can be spoken. Everything comes to an end. You are salao. You are burned.
[[back to life|Start]]
[[officially dead|eternal]]
You are at school.The nice thing about you is that if someone met you casually and talked to you they would have thought that you are a perfectly normal five-and-a-half-year-old child. You displayed almost no signs of your brilliance and you never show off. "This is a very sensible and quiet little boy." They would have said to themselves.
[[Keep going|8 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
Everyone has a first memory, but the average age that those first memories begin isn't until 3- and 1/2-years-old. A new theory explains just why that may be so.
"Every one of us has a personal 'beginning of time,' the first events we recall from our lives," Nautilus magazine explains.
Your first memory is that when you are in your mum's arm, your mum starts aruging with your dad. Your mum is being distrcted. You fall onto the bed. It hurts.
[[Keep going|7 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You love reading but your dad doesn't. "I don't want to know what it's about," your dad barked. "I'm fed up with your reading anyway, Go and find yourself something useful to do." With frightening suddenness he now began ripping the pages out of the book in handfuls and throwing them in the waste-paper basket.
[[Keep going| 9 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
People like aruging. Espescially adult. You always wonder, how come we cannot just be nice to one another? How come they just can't leave me alone and read my books? Shouting and snapping become your home's regular show. As you expected long before, your parents get divourced.
[[Keep going| 10 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You are passionate and you have dreams. You live with your mum and are allowed to visit your dad once a month.
You find yourself not only love reading, but writing. You start writing poems and stories. Writing is, to you, a series of permissions you give yourself to be expressive in certain ways. To invent. To heap. To fly. To fall. To find your own characteristics way of narrating and insisting; that is, to find your own inner freedom.
[[Keep going|15 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You met a girl in a Christmas ball hold by your school. She is not outstanding in appearance. But don't know why, you fall in love with her deeply when you first look into her eyes. You know in your heart, she is there, she is whom I have been keep on finding.
[[Keep going|20 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
Fortuntely, you can further your study in Hong Kong. In the college, you find your favourite professor, and introduce him to your parents. He is a small man who takes small steps, as if a strong wind could, at any time, whisk him up into the clouds.
[[Keep going| 24 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
Here comes to the lovers, full of joy and mirth.
Joy, gentle friends! Joy, and fresh days of love
Accompany your hearts!
[[Keep going|38 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You have got a letter on the table. It reads:
"Before you condemn me utterly, I beg you to understand just how hard I'd been trying to be a good mother. But trying to be a good mother maybe as distant from being a good mother as trying to have a good time is from truly having one."
[[Keep going|46 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You are at work from seven to four, your wife from four to midnight. If she were to miss breakfast with you, the only time you two would actually talk together is on Sundays. Life sucks.
[[Keep going|50 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
Your child do not behave well at school. Your wife do not even want to talk to you. "You bear the most responsibility of what your son did." She always blame.She changed a lot after having a child. You always ask yourself, is she really the same person I met in the Christmas ball in high school?
You retain the attitudes of sadness and suffering, but you had ceased to feed your sting. Indeed, to you, this precisely is the most disheartening thing: that the habit of despair is worse than despair itself.
[[Keep going|60 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
Your son graduated from high school. He will study aboard.A new chapter for him. So as you and your wife.He kisses and hugs you in the ceremony. You resist the temptation of crying. You think that a man cry in public is inappropriate. But you know, you can't control everything in life. Emotion is one of them.
[[Keep going|65 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
Life really sucks. Your wife died in a car accident. You question the meaning of life so thoroughly for the first time in your life. There are competitions every day, where you win or lose. You have to fight to lve. There is no alternative. It is not possible to close your eyes to it, it is not possiblle to say no. There's no recourse, no mercy, no salvation to be had from anyone. There's not even any hope that time will sort things out.
[[Keep going|70 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You retired finally. You always stay at home and miss your wife. Unhappiness did not swoop down on you, this was no surprise attack: more of a graual infiltration, it insinuate itself almost ingratiatingly. It meticulously impregnate your life, your movements, the hours you keep, your room, like a long-obscured truth, or something that was staring you in the face but which you refused to recognize.
[[Keep going|75 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You plan to move to a new place and live for a year or two in order to refresh yourself. You found a new hobby- fishing. But the result is not satisfactory. You fish alone in a skiff and you had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish. In the first forty days a boy had been with you. But after forty days without a fish the boy's parents had told him that the old man was now definitely and finally salao.
[[Keep going| 80 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
Your grandson is born. He looks cute. You know you are getting old. You can feel that your body is deteriorating. In a body check, you are diagnosed with cancer. Liver cancer. The clock is ticking. But you are not afraid of that. Instead, you feel relieved. I have already lived out my life. There is not regret. You confess to yourself. When you look out of the window when you are taking bus, you imagine yourself being those birds in the blue sky, flying freely.
[[Keep going| 82 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]
You have got killed by cancer cells. Your son and grandsons stay with you until the last moment, so as the picture of your wife.
[[death|funeral]]
This life, as you live it now and have ived it, you will have to live again and again, times without number; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and all the unspeakably small and great in your life must return to you, and evrything in the same series and sequence- and in the same way this spider and this moonlight among the trees, and in the same way this moment and I myself. The eternal hour-glass of existence will be turned again and again- and you with it, you dust of dust!
[[return|Start]]
In Hong Kong, you can surely not able to earn a living by writing stories and poems. The knowledege and visions you gained in the college seems useless in Hong Kong. You end up being a clerk in a normal company. Typing typing typing all the time. You sometimes feel like you are a machine rather than a human being. But luckily, you know there is someone loving you, waiting for you, no matter where you go, in every moment.
[[Keep going| 28 years old]]
[[End your life|funeral]]