meah needs more work and supplies are to easy to get you need to add choices on weather you use a bullet and use supplies or use the bat and damage it keeping track of supplies would help to if you don't keep track of them it seems like you have infinite ammo and maybe a argument amongst the friends woul make it more interesting but above all it was interesting
Good stuff! I enjoyed the story, and it was a good length. I also liked how some of the writing would be appropriate in which an 11th grader would speak, like "this is really bad".
My negatives are pretty normal, some grammar and spelling mistakes here and ther, but not too many. The only BIG problem I had was the lack of a sense that your choices mattered. Will the supplies we get matter? I especially didn't enjoy that you gave us a choice of which house to go to, but it would be Jay's no matter what.