Test of the water by Zaidokaido FT

First book in the series Water.

The beggining.
All starts of like normal untill you hear the radio say about an eruption.
Follow Eclipsus story about how his adventure started.
Review by JRehfeldt
08 Jun 2017
"Something had turned it to smithereens"
That's not a phrase. A better word would be Goo or Mush.
"I woke up with a huge pain in my head,like"
Space after comma please. There are more of this mistake too.
Breakfast".
The period goes before the quotes.
"My mom shouted"get
Should be "My mom shouted, "Get
The pictures have signatures on them and makes them odd.
You keep forgetting to put spaces after periods and commas.
"Cereals"
Not a word.
"Discowered"
Not a word.
Norway needs to be capitalized.
"Damedge"
Not a word.
"evacuete"
Not a word.

Honestly, it sounds like a fourth grader wrote it. There are MANY spelling and grammar errors that must be corrected. It is way to short.
(3)

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Average rating
(3)
Written by
Zaidokaido FT

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251
External Link
Published 08 Jun 2017

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