Please read my comment. This particular project is cancelled, but I'll leave it up for now in case anyone has the urge to play this mess, for whatever reason.
Legacy Player: The "Play online" link above uses the new Quest Viva WebPlayer, which is currently in Beta. In case of issues,
you can try the old WebPlayer.
I really liked it. Only problem is that the paragraphs are too long. So I kinda get antsy. It shows promise, that is true. Yet I kinda feel like the action is lost in all the words. It's still exciting though. Just don't make it so wordy.
I'll get the bad out of the way first. It didn't seem like the story progressed very much (though I understand this is only the beginning, my first episode was similar). Also, the characters are pretty under-developed as of right now (though I'm sure that will be fixed later on). Also, some of the lines seemed a bit unnatural, and maybe a bit of an overuse of profanity.
Time for the good! It seems like you took your time detailing the story, and making it seem as realistic as possible. Also, I only found two grammar/spelling mistakes, so a free cookie for you! I also liked how it tied into the show/comics a bit there at the end.
Very great story, although it was short, I am only writing this review of the first episode because it's all that you have released at the moment. I hope you make many more chapters and if this was a test to see if this game might succeed, it passed! I can tell if you continue the story and add more episodes, that this game might get really popular on this site. The only thing I suggest is a proof read of every page as you write them to remove errors, there are only a few I noticed, and also make sure you have your information down. (When you see the gun in the car door you say it's fully loaded, but you only use two shots before its empty). If you continue the story to have a bunch of different endings, it can get more difficult and confusing as you move on. I am working on a game very similar to this myself. But other than these minor things, it's a great start and I cant wait to see more.
I love all of these Walking Dead based games that are popping up, I've been working on a long project which is my own and I just can't get enough of these games. I like where this story is going, I hope in the future you make some more of these. Nice work.
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