MacabreMobster2

Review for Hello, This Is the Suicide Hotline

Wow, this is kind of hard to review. I have no idea where to start. I guess I'll start with the writing, as it is my biggest complaint. The writing is... mediocre at best. A lot of the dialogue is either ridiculous or nonsensical. For example, "'It goes away when I rip at them. They get scared when I rip at my skin, watch as it tears underneath my fingernails.... hehe,,.heheh!!!'" Obviously, this can be taken as the author trying to show the character as insane, but it's not well implemented. The main problem I have with it is the crawling in her skin has: A. No bearing on the story at all, and, B. never comes up again, ever. What's the point in mentioning it at all? This made it pretty difficult to get invested in the character I was trying to save. The grammar could also use some work. While I have seen people use multiple commas after sentences as a form of punctuation, it's in no way grammatically correct. I also have no idea what it means, or why it's come into use, but still. Capitalization, such as when it is and isn't used, is pretty sporadic as well. The pacing is pretty poor at times, perhaps due to the story's length. Things escalate and deescalate so quickly that it seems like we're just making massive jumps in the story, as if perhaps there should've been some more content in between. The formatting is also a tad confusing, as it kind of makes it hard to understand who's speaking. At first, I thought that the bold text was the character speaking and the plain text was me speaking, and I imagine that's what the author was going for. The only problem there is that often times dialogue that was obviously meant for me was put into bold white text and vice versa. This made the story hard to follow, but it's an easy fix that, once made, will improve the game greatly. The psychological aspect of the story is flawed in many ways, but it also shows potential. Not much about the character's psychological aspects are explored except that she suffers from an abusive father. While there are some great places that this could go, the story (again, perhaps due to length) delves into none of them. She has an abusive father, and that's it. We don't know exactly what happened or why it tortures her, we don't know why she imagines him, and we certainly don't know why the hell she's digging at her skin or how that relates to having an abusive father in any way. Now, of course, this game isn't entirely bad. As I said before it shows a lot of potential and has brief glimpses of good writing, such as when the character's voice is described. Unfortunately, there's still a pretty long way up from here. Sorry if I sounded like a cynical asshole, by the way, I try to be constructive instead of destructive.

Review for unreadable

Though not the worst thing I've ever read, and certainly showing glimmers of genius and creativity, Unreadable has a lot of grammatical errors and only one actual choice in the entire game. I suppose I was warned, but at the same time I was curious. Play it if you want, as it's very short and reaching both ends can be accomplished in five minutes.