Hi there!
A friend of mine and I are making a multiplayer game together.
We got the multiplayer aspect all sorted out, and are looking to make a game over for the puzzle game.
I decided to make the "GAME OVER" into a function, to save the need for creating tons of the same script.

However, my friend and I settled for dynamic "teasing text" on the death, and if a player dies from something in a category, the said text will tease them with something related.
Example:
One dies from excessive heat
Teaser text = "Ooh, it's hot in here."

Here's the placeholder code, looking to either get a full fix or a format to properly define the "If" conditions:

if (gameover(cause) = heat) {
  PrintCentered ("\"Ooh, is it hot in here?\"")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = cold) {
  PrintCentered ("\"Brrrr.. Getting a bit chilly around here.\"")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = spikes) {
  PrintCentered ("Pro Tip: Don't get impaled.")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = bloodloss) {
  PrintCentered ("\"u got red on u.\"")
  PrintCentered ("\"y you not got red in you?\"")
  PrintCentered ("\"y red escape from u?\"")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = bullets) {
  PrintCentered ("Fun Fact: Bullets aren't a natural part of the human body, you might want to get that removed.")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = decapitation) {
  PrintCentered ("\"Calm down, don't lose your head.\"")
  PrintCentered ("(oh wait, you already did..)")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = pvp) {
  PrintCentered ("\"There can be only one!\"")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = choking) {
  PrintCentered ("\"Woah man, breathe.\"")
  PrintCentered ("(what do you mean you can't?!)")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = hunger) {
  PrintCentered ("\"Wait, what do you mean you starved to death in a puzzle game?\"")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = exhaustion) {
  PrintCentered ("\"Crunching is bad. Don't do it.\"")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = karate) {
  PrintCentered ("Hold on, one sec, i gotta find a ninja sound on the internet.")
  PrintCentered ("Huh, no google results.")
  PrintCentered ("Oh wait.")
}
else if (gameover(cause) = dividebyzero) {
  PrintCentered ("Both players fell out of the world.")
}
else {
  PrintCentered ("Somebody died!")
}```

also, if you're wondering how we made multiplayer,

we made 2 characters, a command to swap control between the two, and a naming system.
basically player 1 inputs things to be done by the player one character called "One" by default.
player 1 tells player 2 to get ready to control
player 1 types "swap" and all commands after are done by player 2's character
player 2 controls player2, aka "Two"
player 2 tells 1 to be ready, and then uses the swap command

so on so forth

I'm not sure what those conditions are supposed to do.

if (gameover(cause) = heat) {

So… when it gets to this point, it calls the gameover function, passing a loval variable or object named cause to it, and tests if the result is an object named heat.

If this is within the gameover function, it will keep on calling itself forever.

I assume that your function has a parameter called "cause".

If you just want to check this cause against different values, you could use something like:

if (cause = "heat") {
  PrintCentered ("\"Ooh, is it hot in here?\"")
}
else if (cause = "cold") {

and so on.

Or, as you're comparing one value against many options, you could use the much more efficient "switch" statement:

switch (cause) {
  case ("heat") {
    PrintCentered ("\"Ooh, is it hot in here?\"")
  }
  case ("cold") {
    PrintCentered ("\"Brrrr.. Getting a bit chilly around here.\"")
  }
  // etc etc, all your other  cases
  default {
    PrintCentered ("Somebody died!")
  }
}