“Twelve years and never a word.”
[[“Never a word, you say?”->Odd]]Benjamin pushed up his spectacles as he eyed his employer from across the room. The dancers had begun to kick up their heels and busy themselves among the mezzanine, and across from him Hughes was struggling to see. He bobbed his head up and down, stretching and straining like some sort of indecisive giraffe.
“I’ve been to the meetings, the stock floors, everything,” Benjamin continued. “There’s just no getting to him. If you want the Jefferson account, you’ll need to go through his secretary or make a stink up at the press.”
“Ah, never had much luck with the press, ‘specially not in January. Everything happens in January. No way to cause a stir among folks if there’s a bigger fish already splashin’ up the water.”
“And how big of a fish do you reckon he is, that Mr.Yee?”
[[Hughes gave a chuckle as he settled back down into his dusty seat.->seat]]For a moment, he let the silence sit between them, just two old friends with a heap of a world ahead of them and behind. There was a peace, and then that new feeling of suspicion clipped its way through him.
“The way I see it. I’ve just signed a contract into a small business firm with a load of troubles. They put me as treasury of state, but neglect to inform me of all these- these-“
Hughes waved his folded spectacles about in a frantic manner.
“All of these nonsensical happenings! Now, I’m just as happy as the next man to turn in my working wage for a fine dime and a half from the old boy, but I’ve just got some concerns, that’s all. The way I see it, Mr.Yee is at the top of it, and he’s at least got some responsibility to explain what exactly has been going on!”
Benjamin tipped his glass at his friend with a sly look, “Bet you wish you hadn’t taken that contract with a six-month delay?”
“If I had known that six-months ago, you’d be a victim of Mr.Lee’s fantastical mishaps, I would have dragged you out of Redd Inc. by the loops of your pants! You’ve got that incident three months ago with that pet company, er, Cali Co.?”
[[“Just a bit of a catfight. No one got hurt, and nothing they can prove anyways.”->cats]]“Well what about the time Mr.Yee sponsored that old board game maker in his studio apartment? Man just sat away making yoyos. What sort of tragedy can befall a man who makes yoyos?!”
[[“Yes, well, they are rather volatile things, I’d imagine. Never got the hang of them myself. Nearly took out my eye with one as a youngster.”->eyes]]“And SPEAKING of your eyes,” Hughes said, rounding on Benjamin, “I dO believe they’re pulsating with a demonic AURA!”
[[“Well, Ms.Terry always says I’ve got a little glow about me…” Benjamin giggled in response.->giggle]]The man bobbled in his chair as he sat back and took another sip from his champagne flute. Hughes let his sputtering cease as straightened the coaster in front of him.
“I don’t know what you people do,” Hughes breathed, “and I don’t know what you people expect ME to do, but I just want to log the numbers, you see? I want a little extra to pad my retirement, and maybe the chance to happen across my wife in a nice car of my own, and I want this job! I just don’t want to deal with everything that comes out of this company.”
Leaning across the table, Hughes pointed across the mezzanine at Mr.Yee.
[[“And I want HIM, to come forward and say something for once.”->forward]]Benjamin waited for Hughes to desist with his banter, but the man stood frozen with his elbow wrinkling up the cloth of the table and his finger pointed squarely at their employer. With a soft laugh, he drew Hughes back.
“Look, I’ve told you your options. Either go take it to the press, like all the other treasurers-“
Benjamin gave a pointed look at a frog at the other side of the company party. He was a dapper fellow in a potpie hat with an accounts book before him. With a ribbit, the frog attempted to pick up a pen, failed and looked about as distraught as an amphibian could emote.
“Yes, poor fellow- anyways you could rat on Mr.Yee and wind up a bit greener around the gills, or you can skedaddle off to work like a good employee and rake in your share of the moolah-”
[[“-or I can talk to Ms. Terry.”->terry]]Bejamin rolled his eyes. “Yes, or you could talk to Ms. Terry. The secretary.”
“It’s settled then,” Hughes said, pushing up the napkin folded into his shirt, mistaking it for a tie. “I’ll get to the bottom of this.”
“Yes, well, let me know what the bottom looks like. I think the ex-treasurer has seen quite the fill of that.”
Hughes shifted his gaze to the frog again. It was stirring a small martini topped with a fly absentmindedly.
“I’ll see you in the office tomorrow morn,” Hughes assured. “Things are going to start happening.”
“I’m sure you’ll find Ms.Terry to have some ribbeting tales about Mr.Yee!” Benjamin laughed, waving his drink about, “Just make sure you don’t croak ol’ chum!”
[[“Oh, shove a sock in it.”->sock]]Benjamin straightened his coat and grabbed his hat from off the table.
[[“And put on some glass contacts or something, will ya?”->sketch]]
[[. . . . . . .->?]]Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.[[“Well don’t be shy, what did you want, dear?”->dear]]Hughes shuffled his way into the office nervously. The lights were off. What sort of employer sits in an office with the lights off? The dim silloughettes of Mr.Yee and Ms.Terry were lit by whatever filtered through the blinds, be it moonlight or sunlight. Time wasn’t intact in whatever pocket hell he’d crawled into, and it sure wasn’t going to straighten itself out anytime soon. Not that soon meant anything when-
[[“the tIME!” Hughes squealed, clutching at his watch. “I can figure this out! Just need to know the tIME!”->time]]The man slapped at his wrist expectedly and pulled back his sleeve to reveal bare skin. When he lowered his sleeve again in panic, the indent of a wristwatch still remained. He patted at it, and felt the solid form of the watch beneath, but there was nothing there when he tore up his sleeve again.
“Ah… you came all this way to ask for… the time?” Ms.Terry asked with a nervous giggle. “Well I’ve been telling Mr.Yee for years that we ought to get the clocks around here fixed. I swear the one in the breakroom runs three minutes behind on every day but Monday. Such a strange issue, isn’t it? Maybe I’m going mad.”
[[Hughes, who was currently dealing with going mad, could only nod his response.->mad]]“The time then?” He babbled, stumbling forward and clutching at the desk of Mr.Yee.
“You’ll tell me the time?!”
Mr.Yee regarded him with a sympathetic glare, but nothing more.
[[“SPEAK, DAMN YOU!” Hughes screamed, pounding his fist down on the desk.->speak]]Ms. Terry jumped backwards, but Mr. Yee didn’t flinch.
“I’ve been wandering these cubicles for any smidgen of answer as to what you people do.”
Hughes picked up a pen off the desk and began intensely examining the cap.
“I’ve been crawling about through lines and ledgers and trying to make SOME sense of what is happening. There’s NOTHING here! It’s RUBBISH! The numbers don’t make sense! No wonder you always come up in the green, oh of course! Oh, yes! It’s because you don’t spend any money!”
“Well, we have quite the business strategy concerning recycling assets,” Ms. Terry said, sheepishly attempting to fix the scattered pens on Mr. Yee’s desk. “It’s quite efficient, keeps all the expenses internal…”
[[“And the coffee!” Hughes raved,->coffee]] “O-ho-ho the coffee! Gone! Every time! I walk past, it’s full! I walk in to the room and it’s GO-N-N-N-E! It’s gone! Poof! I try to make some and it breaks! I put WATER in and GRIND THE BEANS with a PENCIL SHARPENER and it UP and LEAVES!”
[[“Well, java is always a rather fickle thing…”->java]]
“Just answer me one thing, please!” Hughes said, clutching at the desk of Mr.Yee. “Just one word, I beg you! Let me know my life wasn’t in vain! My searching! My eternity of servitude in your FINE esTABLISHMENT!”
[[Ms.Terry gave a nervous look at Mr.Yee.->Yee]][[The room grew silent.->silent]][[A gleam crossed Mr.Yee’s eyes.->gleam]]He cleared his throat.
[[“I wish… “ he said, “I could tell you about what happened with Cali Co.”->cat]]“But I’m afraid-“
“Cat’s got my tongue.”
[[Ms.Terry gave a sigh and rested her head in her hands with a small smile.->smile]]“Truth be told, you know, I got sick of this about three millenia ago, but it’s really starting to get its second wind,” Ms.Terry said with an approving nod.
Hughes sat on his haunches, mouth agape, trying to process that sordid response.
[[A pun.->yeahapun]]“You can’t win ‘em all, you see I thought it’d be funny to curse the poor sap down on his luck. Thought that I’d cut him a deal, a thriving industry for a bit of control over his speech! I convinced him it was to make him more charming, to cut more deals and whatnot-“
[[Hughes was past his breaking point.->break]]“But well, what a surprise it was for him when all he could do was make the worst, and I mean the worst, puns! Oh, it had its charm alright! My favorite is still the time in Cuba where he-“
“We don’t talk about Cuba,” Mr.Lee cut in, tears streaming down his face. [[“We were just Havana good time!”->havana]]“Oh gosh, that’s nearly as good. You have to admit the curse has its funny moments, yes?” Ms.Terry said, nudging Hughes with her elbow.
Hughes was coming to terms with the hellscape around him and his employer who was currently sobbing and making puns under his breath.
“Well, in any case, guess you just aren’t cut out for working as our treasurer. It really doesn’t make sense to have one anyways, since our budget is the souls of the tormented. I just think that making a man manage the books for a company with no expenses is-“
[[“Priceless!” Mr.Yee screamed.->priceless]]“Oh god,” Ms.Terry sighed. “Nope, this is getting old again. I’m going to put you back on mute. Thank you for your comedic timing.”
Hughes watched in horror as Mr.Yee began clutching at his throat, then falling back in his chair with a blank expression. Ms.Terry pulled out a form from the drawer in his desk.
“Hugh… Hugh… what’s your name, Hugh?”
[[Hughes stumbled away from the desk. He couldn’t remember.->remember]]“Ah yes,” Ms.Terry said with a devilish grin. “I found it right here. Just let me sign the departure notice to mister…”
Ms.Terry drew a pen across the form. Letters began to glow in a sickly red light.
[[“Hugh… Jem’istake.”->oshoot]]
[[. . . . . . . .->frog]]In a low down bog in the middle of New Orleans there sat a log.
[[And on this log, on this particular Monday, sat a lone frog in a porkpie hat.->hat]]Another frog joined him.
[[“You’re late,” the behatted frog said.->late]]“My clock was running behind,” the second panted.
“You have to set it forward on Mondays by a few minutes. Always Mondays.”
[[The new frog shifted uneasily on the log.->always]]“So… do we just… are we not supposed to talk about this?”
“Nondisclosure agreement.” The behatted frog said plainly.
[[“Right… right.”->non]]“But what about-?”
“Look just pay it no mind, and keep livin’ your life, kid. Go dancing with the flappers, get a drink, do anything but think about that place.”
“It doesn’t bug you?”
The behatted frog snatched an insect from the air.
“Nothing that can be done about it. [[Besides…”->bestides]]The behatted frog turned to his new companion. Their eyes met.
“All we can do now is jump around, eat flies...
[[...and act hoppy. ”->end]]fin.
Hope you're happy Amy
↶↷“Twelve years and never a word.”
“Never a word, you say?”