Sugarcane

You are sitting on your couch, absent-mindedly scrolling through Facebook on your phone when-\n\nUh-oh! There he is. Your CRUSH.\n\n[[Read his post.|sfPost]]\n\n[[Hit the back button on your phone in a blind panic, throw the device across the couch and close your eyes!|sfJoke End]]

You decide to go on a walk to the pond and back. Despite your best intentions, you ignore the air, and the blue sky, birdsong and the frost that glints beautfully on the evergreens. You try to focus but all you can see is...\n\n[[...his face|mFace]]

You are sitting on your couch, absent-mindedly scrolling through Facebook on your phone when-\n\nUh-oh! There he is. Your CRUSH.\n\n[[Read his post.|mPost]]\n\n[[Hit the back button on your phone in a blind panic, throw the device across the couch and close your eyes!|mJoke End]]

It's a link to an interesting article. It's not a subject you know much about, but that's just part of why you find him so COOL!\n\n[['Like' it.|mLike]]\n\n[[Woah there! Take your finger away from that little button, slowly now, no quick movements.|mChill]]

Woah...\n\nMaybe censorship is underrated. A feeling of panic engulfs you, as you imagine a nightmare situation where somehow HE happens across this document.\n\n[[Tear like you have never tore before.|mEnd 6]]

It's a link to an interesting article. It's not a subject you know much about, but that's just part of why you find her so COOL!\n\n[['Like' it.|gfLike]]\n\n[[Woah there! Take your finger away from that little button, slowly now, no quick movements.|gfChill]]

Phew! That's that over.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at her profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|Profile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|Leave It]]

CRUSH

Alright, his voice his voice ok fine! So you can imagine with perfect clarity the tone, the pitch, the way his accent comes through on the vowel sounds... \n\nYou know who else has a good voice? Peaches! So why don't you go home and dig through your old CDs and-\n\n[[...your wedding day.|sfGo Home]]

RIGHT, that is ENOUGH! What the hell is going on with you? And what's with the wedding fantasy - I thought you were too 'alternative' to 'subscribe to traditional relationship models'!? Get a GRIP of yourself!\n\nYou stomp home, frustrated and embarrassed. You step in your door and let out a long sigh. You're running out of options here. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.\n\n[[I think I need to write down my feelings.|Write]]\n\n[[I think I need to look at that profile.|End 7]]

Ok Romeo, time to do some [[work.|mWork 1]] Goodbye social networking, hello 'research'!

You sit on the couch with your tea, smiling with a little relief.\n\nYou remember that life isn't about everything working out all the time. It's taking the leaps that makes us alive.\n\nStill. It doesn't hurt to imagine what it would be like if it DID work out...at least until the tea's finished.\n\n[img[cup.png]]\n\nEND.

Pleasant as the pictures are, you are left feeling a little empty. After all, these aren't your memories. You are just an observer, from outside.\n\nYou place your phone down. Time for a cup of tea and and episode of-\n\n[[Buffy|sfEnd 2]]\n\n[[Frasier|sfEnd 2]]\n\n[[Gilmore Girls|sfEnd 2]]

Woah...\n\nMaybe censorship is underrated. A feeling of panic engulfs you, as you imagine a nightmare situation where somehow SHE happens across this document.\n\n[[Tear like you have never tore before.|End 6]]

As you are about to close the application, it happens. A few little words appear under your message in light grey.\n\nFacebook informs you that SHE 'has seen your message'!\n\nYour heartbeat resembles dubstep...that's concerning.\n\nYou sit on your couch for five minutes, staring at the screen. Nothing happens. She isn't even 'typing'.\n\nOh well, it was ethical of you to warn her how much of a freak you are at least. I guess you can just sit here, and wait for the restraining order to arrive.\n\nEND.

Your thum taps mechanically against the glass screen. You scroll down and down, unsure what it is you are even looking for.\n\n[[Maybe click on the photo album?|sfPhotos1]]\n\n[[You know, you could always just get in touch with him...|sfMessage]]\n\n[[Keep scrolling...|sfEnd 3]]

Ok then. [[Ready when you are.|Opening Scene]]

You take a deep breath, IN...OUT...\n\nYou click the message button. You ask how she is, and say that you'd love a catch up soon. To the untrained eye it would appear that nothing of any consequence whatsoever has occured. But you know different. This is your moment! You are Willow and she is Tara.\n\n...Hmm, then again you might be more like Willow in season six when she goes about killing everyone...\n\n[[You're overthinking it. Step away and have a well-earned cuppa.|gfEnd 4 Cuppa]]\n\n[[Maybe you should just check it once and make sure you didn't say anything weird.|gfCheck]]

You try to hit the thumb icon, but your jittery disposition makes you do a double-tap, and you 'like' and 'unlike' in one swift move. (You knew you shouldn't have had that third coffee.)\n\nExcellent. You've just notified her of you being a twat. May as well [[hit the button one final time|gfPhew]] and set things right.

You take a deep breath, IN...OUT...\n\nYou click the message button. You ask how he is, and say that you'd love a catch up soon. To the untrained eye it would appear that nothing of any consequence whatsoever has occured. But you know different. This is your moment! You are Tom Cruise and he is Renée Zellweger.\n\n...Hmm, he probably wouldn't be too hot on being referred to as Renée Zellweger...and Tom Cruise is gross now...what the hell am I thinking!?\n\n[[You're overthinking it. Step away and have a well-earned cuppa.|mEnd 4 Cuppa]]\n\n[[Maybe you should just check it once and make sure you didn't say anything weird.|mCheck]]

That's right, you are one smoooooth operator. She will NEVER know. The good news is you only wasted sixty seconds on this irrelevant life decision.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at her profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|gfProfile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|gfLeave It]]

You scan through a few times. Nope, looks like you managed to retain your composure, no extravagent declarations or creepy statements. [[Phew!|End 5 Seen]]

Ok, so it would appear like you've fallen into a daydream about him and 30 minutes just passed. Not that it isn't fun to waste time but you know, self-employment and all that.\n\nThis going to be a problem friend?\n\n[[No. I'll power through.|mPower Through]]\n\n[[Yes. I need to view that profile. The future of my career depends on it!|mProfile]]

Yes, it's a lovely face but come on, this isn't really helping things. Try thinking about something else...\n\n[[...her voice.|gfVoice]]

Would you like your crush to be [[male identified|sfMale]] or [[female identified|gfFemale]]?

Phew! That's that over.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at his profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|mProfile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|mLeave It]]

Yes, it's a lovely face but come on, this isn't really helping things. Try thinking about something else...\n\n[[...his voice.|sfVoice]]

Your thum taps mechanically against the glass screen. You scroll down and down, unsure what it is you are even looking for.\n\n[[Maybe click on the photo album?|gfPhotos1]]\n\n[[You know, you could always just get in touch with her...|gfMessage]]\n\n[[Keep scrolling...|gfEnd 3]]

As you are about to close the application, it happens. A few little words appear under your message in light grey.\n\nFacebook informs you that HE 'has seen your message'!\n\nYour heartbeat resembles dubstep...that's concerning.\n\nYou sit on your couch for five minutes, staring at the screen. Nothing happens. He isn't even 'typing'.\n\nOh well, it was ethical of you to warn him how much of a freak you are at least. I guess you can just sit here, and wait for the restraining order to arrive.\n\nEND.

RIGHT, that is ENOUGH! What the hell is going on with you? And what's with the wedding fantasy - I thought you were too 'alternative' to 'subscribe to traditional relationship models'!? Get a GRIP of yourself!\n\nYou stomp home, frustrated and embarrassed. You step in your door and let out a long sigh. You're running out of options here. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.\n\n[[I think I need to write down my feelings.|mWrite]]\n\n[[I think I need to look at that profile.|mEnd 7]]

That's right, you are one smoooooth operator. He will NEVER know. The good news is you only wasted sixty seconds on this irrelevant life decision.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at his profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|mProfile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|mLeave It]]

Ok, so it would appear like you've fallen into a daydream about her and 30 minutes just passed. Not that it isn't fun to waste time but you know, self-employment and all that.\n\nThis going to be a problem friend?\n\n[[No. I'll power through.|gfPower Through]]\n\n[[Yes. I need to view that profile. The future of my career depends on it!|gfProfile]]

You stop on one picture in particular. He looks happy, and he's surrounded by other people who look happy. You feel a pulling sensation deep inside your belly.\n\n[[Continue looking.|mPhotos3]]\n\n[[Look. This is getting ridiculous. Why not just send him a message?|mMessage]]

Pleasant as the pictures are, you are left feeling a little empty. After all, these aren't your memories. You are just an observer, from outside.\n\nYou place your phone down. Time for a cup of tea and and episode of-\n\n[[Buffy|mEnd 2]]\n\n[[Frasier|mEnd 2]]\n\n[[Gilmore Girls|mEnd 2]]

You flick through the album, which is painfully short.\n\n[[Look again.|mPhotos2]]

You stop on one picture in particular. She looks happy, and she's surrounded by other people who look happy. You feel a pulling sensation deep inside your belly.\n\n[[Continue looking.|Photos3]]\n\n[[Look. This is getting ridiculous. Why not just send her a message?|Message]]

Pleasant as the pictures are, you are left feeling a little empty. After all, these aren't your memories. You are just an observer, from outside.\n\nYou place your phone down. Time for a cup of tea and and episode of-\n\n[[Buffy|End 2]]\n\n[[Frasier|End 2]]\n\n[[Gilmore Girls|End 2]]

You flick through the album, which is painfully short.\n\n[[Look again.|Photos2]]

Ok then. [[Ready when you are.|mOpening Scene]]

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[img[clock.png]]\n\nHmm. Ok. 30 more minutes have passed, and you've managed to send one email. And you forgot to include the attachment. This is officially not working.\n\n[[Maybe I need a bit of air.|mAir]]\n\n[[Fine, I'll look at the damn profile!|mProfile]]

Would you like your crush to be [[male identified|Male]] or [[female identified|Female]]?

Phew! That's that over.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at her profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|gfProfile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|gfLeave It]]

[<img[nightsky.png]]\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nLike a child who has given up chocolate for Lent, you end your period of abstinence in a grotesque frenzy. You eat up every post, every link, every image. You don't even stop at her photos, you look through the pictures of her family and friends, hunting for hints of her like some kind of delerious love wolf.\n\nWhen you eventually come to a stop you realise you have no idea what time it is. You look out the window and see a blanket of black sky and stars.\n\n'Howl at the moon', you think to yourself, 'like the beast you are.'\n\nEND.

The scraps of paper are tossed into the wastebin. You remember that story about Stephen King's wife recovering his manuscript from the bin and taping it together, but you tell yourself that it's really, really unlikely that that would happen in this situation.\n\nYou experience a sudden and sharp moment of clarity, and notice you have spent your entire day focused on this melodrama. A melodrama, you remind yourself, that exists entirely in your weird little brain.\n\nYou glance at your reflection in the window, and see a blankly-confused expression looking back at you.\n\nEND.

Ok you lovestruck weirdo, time to do some [[work.|sfWork 1]] Goodbye social networking, hello 'research'!

Your thumb makes an unexpected and miniscule detour, tapping about a centimetre to the left...SLAP BANG ON THE 'LIKE BUTTON'. \n\nThat's right. You've liked a post from 2011. You feel blood making a sudden rush towards the top of your head.\n\nYou silently stand and walk towards your bedroom. You keep the light off, and slip under the duvet. Welcome to your new home, for all eternity.\n\nEND.

Yes, it's a lovely face but come on, this isn't really helping things. Try thinking about something else...\n\n[[...his voice.|mVoice]]

[img[TV.png]]\n\nEND.

[<img[nightsky.png]]\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nLike a child who has given up chocolate for Lent, you end your period of abstinence in a grotesque frenzy. You eat up every post, every link, every image. You don't even stop at his photos, you look through the pictures of his family and friends, hunting for hints of him like some kind of delerious love wolf.\n\nWhen you eventually come to a stop you realise you have no idea what time it is. You look out the window and see a blanket of black sky and stars.\n\n'Howl at the moon', you think to yourself, 'like the beast you are.'\n\nEND.

by Thom Scullion

You take a deep breath, IN...OUT...\n\nYou click the message button. You ask how she is, and say that you'd love a catch up soon. To the untrained eye it would appear that nothing of any consequence whatsoever has occured. But you know different. This is your moment! You are Tom Cruise and she is Renée Zellweger.\n\n...Hmm, then again you might be more like Tom Cruise that time he freaked out on Oprah.\n\n[[You're overthinking it. Step away and have a well-earned cuppa.|End 4 Cuppa]]\n\n[[Maybe you should just check it once and make sure you didn't say anything weird.|Check]]

Ok then. [[Ready when you are.|gfOpening Scene]]

Awesome job. Those instincts will serve you well for the rest of your life, which incidentally you'll be spending alone.\n\nEND.

[>img[TitleImageb.jpg]]\n\nWelcome to CRUSH.\n\nWould you like to identify as [[male|Crush Gender]] or [[female|fCrush Gender]]?\n\n\n\n[[(credits)|Credits]]

You set pen to paper and write until your hand cramps. No censorship, just let it all out!\n\nExhausted, you put the pen down. Unsure of what's supposed to happen next, you [[read over your scribblings.|sfRead Over]]

Ok then. [[Ready when you are.|sfOpening Scene]]

Alright, his voice his voice ok fine! So you can imagine with perfect clarity the tone, the pitch, the way his accent comes through on the vowel sounds... \n\nYou know who else has a good voice? Dan Savage! You've probably got the podcast on your phone so-\n\n[[...your wedding day.|mGo Home]]

You quickly scan the profile page. Nothing new here, not since last time you-\n\n...oh god. You are an embarrassment.\n\n[[Click onto his photos.|mPhotos1]]\n\n[[Scroll down through his old posts.|mScroll]]

You are sitting on your couch, absent-mindedly scrolling through Facebook on your phone when-\n\nUh-oh! There she is. Your CRUSH.\n\n[[Read her post.|Post]]\n\n[[Hit the back button on your phone in a blind panic, throw the device across the couch and close your eyes!|Joke End]]

You stop on one picture in particular. She looks happy, and she's surrounded by other people who look happy. You feel a pulling sensation deep inside your belly.\n\n[[Continue looking.|gfPhotos3]]\n\n[[Look. This is getting ridiculous. Why not just send her a message?|gfMessage]]

You take a deep breath, IN...OUT...\n\nYou click the message button. You ask how he is, and say that you'd love a catch up soon. To the untrained eye it would appear that nothing of any consequence whatsoever has occured. But you know different. This is your moment! You are Andy MacDowell and he is Hugh Grant.\n\n...Hmm, then again she does sound ridiculous when she says that line about not noticing the rain.\n\n[[You're overthinking it. Step away and have a well-earned cuppa.|sfEnd 4 Cuppa]]\n\n[[Maybe you should just check it once and make sure you didn't say anything weird.|sfCheck]]

Your thum taps mechanically against the glass screen. You scroll down and down, unsure what it is you are even looking for.\n\n[[Maybe click on the photo album?|mPhotos1]]\n\n[[You know, you could always just get in touch with him...|mMessage]]\n\n[[Keep scrolling...|mEnd 3]]

You try to hit the thumb icon, but your jittery disposition makes you do a double-tap, and you 'like' and 'unlike' in one swift move. (You knew you shouldn't have had that third coffee.)\n\nExcellent. You've just notified him of you being a twat. May as well [[hit the button one final time|mPhew]] and set things right.

It's a link to an interesting article. It's not a subject you know much about, but that's just part of why you find her so COOL!\n\n[['Like' it.|Like]]\n\n[[Woah there! Take your finger away from that little button, slowly now, no quick movements.|Chill]]

That's right, you are one smoooooth operator. She will NEVER know. The good news is you only wasted sixty seconds on this irrelevant life decision.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at her profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|Profile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|Leave It]]

You scan through a few times. Nope, looks like you managed to retain your composure, no extravagent declarations or creepy statements. [[Phew!|mEnd 5 Seen]]

You quickly scan the profile page. Nothing new here, not since last time you-\n\n...oh god. You are an embarrassment.\n\n[[Click onto her photos.|gfPhotos1]]\n\n[[Scroll down through her old posts.|gfScroll]]

Alright, her voice her voice ok fine! So you can imagine with perfect clarity the tone, the pitch, the way her accent comes through on the vowel sounds... \n\nYou know who else has a good voice? Ani DiFranco. In fact you've got 'Napoleon' saved to your phone so why don't you just-\n\n[[...your wedding day.|gfGo Home]]

Phew! That's that over.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at his profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|sfProfile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|sfLeave It]]

You are sitting on your couch, absent-mindedly scrolling through Facebook on your phone when-\n\nUh-oh! There she is. Your CRUSH.\n\n[[Read her post.|gfPost]]\n\n[[Hit the back button on your phone in a blind panic, throw the device across the couch and close your eyes!|gfJoke End]]

You quickly scan the profile page. Nothing new here, not since last time you-\n\n...oh god. You are an embarrassment.\n\n[[Click onto his photos.|sfPhotos1]]\n\n[[Scroll down through his old posts.|sfScroll]]

You scan through a few times. Nope, looks like you managed to retain your composure, no extravagent declarations or creepy statements. [[Phew!|sfEnd 5 Seen]]

Yes, it's a lovely face but come on, this isn't really helping things. Try thinking about something else...\n\n[[...her voice.|Voice]]

Ok, so it would appear like you've fallen into a daydream about her and 30 minutes just passed. Not that it isn't fun to waste time but you know, self-employment and all that.\n\nThis going to be a problem friend?\n\n[[No. I'll power through.|Power Through]]\n\n[[Yes. I need to view that profile. The future of my career depends on it!|Profile]]

[img[clock.png]]\n\nHmm. Ok. 30 more minutes have passed, and you've managed to send one email. And you forgot to include the attachment. This is officially not working.\n\n[[Maybe I need a bit of air.|Air]]\n\n[[Fine, I'll look at the damn profile!|Profile]]

Alright, her voice her voice ok fine! So you can imagine with perfect clarity the tone, the pitch, the way her accent comes through on the vowel sounds... \n\nYou know who else has a good voice? Kelsey Grammer! Why don't you think about him?\n\n[[...your wedding day.|Go Home]]

Your thum taps mechanically against the glass screen. You scroll down and down, unsure what it is you are even looking for.\n\n[[Maybe click on the photo album?|Photos1]]\n\n[[You know, you could always just get in touch with her...|Message]]\n\n[[Keep scrolling...|End 3]]

[img[TV.png]]\n\nEND.

You try to hit the thumb icon, but your jittery disposition makes you do a double-tap, and you 'like' and 'unlike' in one swift move. (You knew you shouldn't have had that third coffee.)\n\nExcellent. You've just notified him of you being a twat. May as well [[hit the button one final time|sfPhew]] and set things right.

[<img[nightsky.png]]\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nLike a child who has given up chocolate for Lent, you end your period of abstinence in a grotesque frenzy. You eat up every post, every link, every image. You don't even stop at his photos, you look through the pictures of his family and friends, hunting for hints of him like some kind of delerious love wolf.\n\nWhen you eventually come to a stop you realise you have no idea what time it is. You look out the window and see a blanket of black sky and stars.\n\n'Howl at the moon', you think to yourself, 'like the beast you are.'\n\nEND.

Ok, so it would appear like you've fallen into a daydream about him and 30 minutes just passed. Not that it isn't fun to waste time but you know, self-employment and all that.\n\nThis going to be a problem friend?\n\n[[No. I'll power through.|sfPower Through]]\n\n[[Yes. I need to view that profile. The future of my career depends on it!|sfProfile]]

You scan through a few times. Nope, looks like you managed to retain your composure, no extravagent declarations or creepy statements. [[Phew!|gfEnd 5 Seen]]

Ok Romeo, time to do some [[work.|Work 1]] Goodbye social networking, hello 'research'!

You flick through the album, which is painfully short.\n\n[[Look again.|gfPhotos2]]

Pleasant as the pictures are, you are left feeling a little empty. After all, these aren't your memories. You are just an observer, from outside.\n\nYou place your phone down. Time for a cup of tea and and episode of-\n\n[[Buffy|gfEnd 2]]\n\n[[Frasier|gfEnd 2]]\n\n[[Gilmore Girls|gfEnd 2]]

[img[clock.png]]\n\nHmm. Ok. 30 more minutes have passed, and you've managed to send one email. And you forgot to include the attachment. This is officially not working.\n\n[[Maybe I need a bit of air.|sfAir]]\n\n[[Fine, I'll look at the damn profile!|sfProfile]]

[img[TV.png]]\n\nEND.

You quickly scan the profile page. Nothing new here, not since last time you-\n\n...oh god. You are an embarrassment.\n\n[[Click onto her photos.|Photos1]]\n\n[[Scroll down through her old posts.|Scroll]]

[img[TV.png]]\n\nEND.

Following pixel art provided by piq.codeus.net:\n\n- Pixel Heart by 'Tomred12'.\n- Pixel Cup by 'TheFailedMagician'\n- Pixel TV by 'MichaelPie'\n- Pixel Clock by 'PikaLink5'\n\nWith thanks to Adrienne, Euan and Lauren.x\n\nDedicated to ... (Yeh right, like I'd ever tell you that)

RIGHT, that is ENOUGH! What the hell is going on with you? And what's with the wedding fantasy - I thought you were too 'alternative' to 'subscribe to traditional relationship models'!? Get a GRIP of yourself!\n\nYou stomp home, frustrated and embarrassed. You step in your door and let out a long sigh. You're running out of options here. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.\n\n[[I think I need to write down my feelings.|sfWrite]]\n\n[[I think I need to look at that profile.|sfEnd 7]]

That's right, you are one smoooooth operator. He will NEVER know. The good news is you only wasted sixty seconds on this irrelevant life decision.\n\n...You know, you COULD look at his profile. It's literally a tap away.\n\n[[Good idea!|sfProfile]]\n\n[[Leave it alone, you're better than this.|sfLeave It]]

Awesome job. Those instincts will serve you well for the rest of your life, which incidentally you'll be spending alone.\n\nEND.

Ok Love Bug, time to do some [[work.|gfWork 1]] Goodbye social networking, hello 'research'!

[img[clock.png]]\n\nHmm. Ok. 30 more minutes have passed, and you've managed to send one email. And you forgot to include the attachment. This is officially not working.\n\n[[Maybe I need a bit of air.|gfAir]]\n\n[[Fine, I'll look at the damn profile!|gfProfile]]

It's a link to an interesting article. It's not a subject you know much about, but that's just part of why you find him so COOL!\n\n[['Like' it.|sfLike]]\n\n[[Woah there! Take your finger away from that little button, slowly now, no quick movements.|sfChill]]

You flick through the album, which is painfully short.\n\n[[Look again.|sfPhotos2]]

Awesome job. Those instincts will serve you well for the rest of your life, which incidentally you'll be spending alone.\n\nEND.

You stop on one picture in particular. He looks happy, and he's surrounded by other people who look happy. You feel a pulling sensation deep inside your belly.\n\n[[Continue looking.|sfPhotos3]]\n\n[[Look. This is getting ridiculous. Why not just send him a message?|sfMessage]]

RIGHT, that is ENOUGH! What the hell is going on with you? And what's with the wedding fantasy - I thought you were too 'alternative' to 'subscribe to traditional relationship models'!? Get a GRIP of yourself!\n\nYou stomp home, frustrated and embarrassed. You step in your door and let out a long sigh. You're running out of options here. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.\n\n[[I think I need to write down my feelings.|gfWrite]]\n\n[[I think I need to look at that profile.|gfEnd 7]]

Awesome job. Those instincts will serve you well for the rest of your life, which incidentally you'll be spending alone.\n\nEND.