Hello, I am Egoraptor Weinerfarts, and you are about to play a game totally endorsed by me.
[[Play->Screen_1]]
[[Options->Options]]
[[Credits->Credits]] Hey gais, I is Arin "Egofaptor" Handsome. We is abowt to record a Grump seshin. Life with mei and ekspereince mai live.
[[Begin->Screen_2]] You don't need fucking options.Shout out to Jeebus, for taking the wheel.
Hah, just kidding, hail Satan.What gaime shood wii Pklay?
[[JO Crystals: A Bro to the Past->Screen_3]]
[[Call of Duty: Advanced Modern Combat Warfare: Remastered Edition: Gold Version->Screen_4]] You decide to play "JO Crystals: A Bro to the Past," a hit Turbografx 69 game by Craigslist Games, LLC Inc.
[[Continue->Screen_5]] You choose an XBox 3 game called Call of Duty... Fuck. I forgot. It plays the same as the other ones, so it doesn't matter.
[[Qwikscop3 Nub3Z->Screen_8]]
[[Attempt to Reason with People->Screen_9]]Dan is wearing a JO crystal to celebrate. You began to tremor in your booties.
[[Continue->Screen_6]]"Hello, and welcome back to Sarah Palin's expediction to Mount Kiliminjaro."
Dan: "I fucking hate you."
[["I love you to."->Screen_7]]
[[*Lick eyeballs slowly to a Metallica song.*->Win_2]]
[[Have a calm, reasonable discussion to find a solution.->Lose_1]]"I love you too."
Dan: "I'M SO SORRY!! PLEASE FORGIVE MEH!"
"Yes, my love. Now we play this gane, and we JO to see if your JO crystal works."
Dan: "I think it's working already!"
[[Continue JOing while you play.->Win_1]]
[[Have a foursome with Kevin and Suzy.->Meh_1]]Dan: "Yeeeess.... Faster... FASTER... FAAAAAASTER!!"
*You both activate your special JO crystal power, and become succesful pornstars for North Korea.*
YOU ARE WIN
"They have porn in North Korea, right?"
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]Just kidding! You go to marriage counseling, scream about how the magic of the relationship is gone, and get on a new, shitty MTV show called "The Grump Life."
YOU FAIL, FUCKTARD.
"Well, at least you have money."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]You found the Neo D Club, and lead a revolution in Djibouti, before conquering the world, with your throbbing, steaming nacho cheesers.
YOU ARE WINNER
"The First Rule of D Club: you do not talk about D Club."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]Wow, this is PolyGrumps material!
NEUTRAL ENDING
"You were meh."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]You suck at games, and fail miserably.
"HAHA YOU FAG ARE IS BAD AT THEN GAME, NOOB FAGGOT RETARD HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A little shit who lives in a trailer makes fun of you, while simeltaneously sucking at the game.
[[Call the Fucking Cops->Win_3]]
[[Tell His Parents->Lose_2]]You attempt to have a rational discussion.
"FACK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT I HATE YOU FAGGOT I BET YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOM YOU FAGGOT RETARD PIECE OF SHIT!!!"
A 15 year old who was recently dumped by his online girlfriend vents his anger.
[[Tell him to shaddup.->Screen_10]]
[[Ask him to love you forever.->Screen_11]]The cops arrive, and murder his ass. They don't blame you, because they think you are Illuminati. You win a lawsuit against somebody for some bullshit reason, and retire to obscurity.
YOU ARE WINNER.
"Congrats, you killed someone indirectly. Hope you feel good about yourself."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]His parents are rednecks, and go to your house with a shotgun, and say open carry laws allow it.
YOU FAIL, FUCKTARD.
"At least this didn't involve politi- Oh, shit."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]"Oh... OK..."
He begans screaming about how his priviliged, work free life sucks, and he is going to kill himself.
[[Tell him to.->Win_4]]
[[Plead not to.->Lose_3]]"Oh... Ok..."
[[Continue->Win_5]]He pussies out, and you become best friends.
YOU ARE WINNER.
"Bet you didn't expect that, did you."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]He likes the attention, but "unfortunately" fell "accidentaly" off a bridge when he was once again faking his suicide attempt.
YOU FAIL, FUCKTARD.
"Hope you feel good right now."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]You have a polygamist relation ship with the child and Dan, and have multiple children. You lead a long, happy life. The End.
YOU ARE WINNER.
"Insert semi clever quip here."
[[Continue->Ending]]
[[Replay?->Replay]]DISCLAIMER: I don't care if I offended you. Also, what does this have to do with Game Grumps? It has Arin, and Danny, and Suzy, and even Kevin!
Created by: Crusty Walrus Studios
Thanks to: Game Grumps
Thanks for playing!Wanna play again?
[[Yes->Screen_Intro]]
Sorry, yes is your only option.