Alright, I've read this story twice. This is by no means the worst story ever released here on Quest, but the grammar is a bit off (switching from past to present tense), and a few sentences are worded awkwardly. The plot itself had potential, but the characters and setting weren't given much description. The story sets itself up as an exciting adventure, but nothing very exciting happens. It's just a kid playing in the snow. And yes, it's perfectly possible to write a good story about a kid playing in the snow, but this just wasn't done well. Also, the choices the reader makes have little to no effect on the story. Don't feel discouraged, though; with some good advice and a little more practice, your writing could improve tremendously. Good luck, Mikey!