What by Akanesora

17 Jan 2018
AYY!! This is GOOD!

Had me wondering at the end there. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WHO IS THAT BASTARD HANGING OUT WITH YOUR ASH!

But here's some feedback. I know you wanted to start off seemingly in the middle of a story to hook them in, and that's good. But maybe you could add some more backstory between Jo and Ash, like "Jo couldn't help but feel nostalgic as she remembered the good old days;".

Welp, that's about it. You've earned my respect. I'm looking forward to the next parts.

Also, would you mind if I asked you to check out my stories? That'd be GREATLY appreciated. :D
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(4)
Written by
Akanesora

Plays
573
External Link
Added 13 Dec 2017

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