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Reviews by OnlyDuncan

Review for Night House
18 May 2017
It's an okay game, with good game design, but unfortunately it's bogged down by a pretty cliche story ripped straight from Stranger Things. My biggest issue with the game is how a lot of the shit in the game that seems important, like the pond hidden behind the heap and the chainsaw without the gas, aren't used at all in the story. Also, what about the slinky and the rubberband ball? There are so many threads that aren't resolved regarding the environment and items that it feels unfinished. I was also very disappointed when I realized the betamax tape wasn't the parents sex tape. Why the hell was it next the "magic wand?" The gameplay, most of the storytelling, and the map were good, but I'd still give it a 6/10. Back to the pond though, I'm assuming the creator thought these were red herrings of some kind, but it's not fun when you spend a million lines of dialogue trying to turn the slinky and rubberband ball into a makeshift fishing pole. I wanted those fish. I wanted to get in that pond. I expect remake on my desk by Monday. Also, the game kept freezing on me. I had to make an account just to play this masochistic fuck fest mess of a game. If you're a fan of Tommy Wiseau's The Room, give it a try. I wish there was more dinocoptors lore. I'd like a dinocoptors visual novel dating sim. I want to date fem brontowheeler, but I would also appreciate a gay option as well. I think a game like that could blow other sim titles like Persona 5 right out of the water. The water of the pond. That I wanted to go in. Anyway, 10/10 unnecessary hand washes. Also, pond. Also, why was the spider referred to as a spider even after the game acknowledged it had too many arms to be a spider? Also, catskin was creepy, too bad he lasted five seconds before he was as dead as Lightning McQueen. Was there even a possibility I could've died in this? Because aside from the beginning, I never felt like I was in danger. I was sprinting throughout that house with wild abandon. But, again, 3/10. What's in that pond? XOXO Prickles YOURS AND FUREVER. PS Pond? dick move. 12/10.