Short grammar question

How would this paragraph be grammatically correct, and understandable?

Now, Pokémon, they are... magical creatures. Sometimes they are animals. Sometimes they are objects come to life. And pokeballs. Depending on whether you watch the anime, play the game, read the manga, and etc., Pokemon are either magical animals that are so overpowered you enslave them, or they are magical animals that are your friends; and for some reason follow you because you beat them in battle; Greek or anime logic, or something.


Now, the Pokémon... They are... magical creatures. Sometimes they are animals, and others they are objects (such as Pokéballs) which come to life.

Depending on whether you've watched the anime, played the game, read the manga, etc., Pokemon are either magical animals that are so overpowered you enslave them, or they are magical animals that are your friends, who, for some reason, follow you because you've beat them in battle. (I assume this is Greek or anime logic, or something.)


That's as close as I could get without rewording anything too much.


Wow. That's perfect!!! Thanks!


Sometimes they are animals, and others they are objects which come to life

-> Sometimes they are animals, and other times they are that come to life
-> Some are animals, and others are objects that come to life

so overpowered you enslave them

What does that actually mean? If they were less powerful you would not want to enslave them?


@The Pixie

I don't know.
But I made this up.

Professor Elm takes in a deep breath. He looks like he's about to say something very hard, but important. "I'm going to tell you about the world, and why it is the way it is. Most  parents don't talk to their kids about this, sad to say, so I'm going to do it. 5000 years ago, the Big Catastrophe happened. Yellowstone Caldera Volcano erupted. As a result, the world changed. The climate grew hard. Earthquakes. Floods. Lava flows. Ash. Hail. Half the land fell into the sea, and it was replaced by new land. Half of all life died. Food became scarce. Everyone's hearts hardened. Pokemon ate humans! Humans ate Pokemon! Pokemon ate Pokemon! Humans ate humans! Humans were forced to enslave Pokemon to conquer the elements, and they made civilization. Some people views Pokemon as friends, some view them as pets, but across the world, people view them simply as feral Pokemon, needing to be controlled. People became greedy. They used their ideals and their Pokemon, and they made war with each other. I do not want your hearts to harden, as mine has, if they have not hardened already. I wish I could help you more, but I did all I can. You both will have to depend on yourselves, now.

But as I said, Greek and anime logic...


This is a Vanillite. It's part icicle, and part ice cream cone.
https://www.google.com/search?q=vanillite+pokemon&safe=strict&biw=600&bih=1024&hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=X&as_q=&nfpr=&spell=1&ved=0ahUKEwiW2eaVzofXAhVF5IMKHa7cBZMQvwUIEg


how HK would do it:

(you can never add too many commas... as they're pauses, and proper pauses can make anything be readable/understandable, regardless of whether the grammer is properly-correct or not, hehe)

(As long as something is readable/understandable, you can use whatever 'style' you want, grammer be damned, as the point of grammer is to just make something readable/understandable, which good use of pauses/commas, do just that, hehe)

Now, Pokémon, they are... magical creatures. Sometimes, they are animals, sometimes, they are objects come to life, and, sometimes, as pokeballs. Depending on whether you: watch the anime, play the game, read the manga, and/or etc., Pokemon are either: magical animals, that are so overpowered, you enslave them, or they are magical animals that are your friends, and also, for some reason, they follow you, because you beat them in battle --- Greek or anime logic, or something like that.

most poeple learn and use the standard way of writing... but it gets soooo boring.... break the "rules", write uniquely, make it interesting to read and not the same boring pattern of writing that everyone uses and learned... have run-on sentences, break all of the other standard rules of writing and grammer, but keep it readable/understandable, but in your own unique way!

it's so fkn boring seeing the exact same sentence patterns, same paragraph patterns, same ssame same etc etc etc... UGGHHH!

BOOOOOORING:

Title
Author
Intro/Premise/Hyposthesis/Thesis Paragraph
BODY/SUPPORT/CONTENT Paragraphs
CONCLUDING/Re-stating-intro-and-body-paragraphs Paragraph

normal sentence structure/pattern: BOOOOOOORING! Challenge the reader! Force him/her to improve their reading ability!

you'll never improve your reading skills when this is all you read:

I like dogs. I like all dogs. But, I really like doberman dogs. They're so awesome! I love how scary and fierce they look. They're natural choices for demon and undead dogs in horror movies. While, they don't have the bite strength and muscle of pitbulls, they look so scary! Whereas, pitbulls have a cute or ugly face, depending on the person. They're not scary looking like dobermans.

Subject Verb. Subject Verb. Subject Verb. BOOORING!

(and this is how 5 year olds learn to write... adults should not be writing like this... yet everyone does, as they never improve... sighs)


when you got different styles of writing, it improves people's reading comprehension, but when you always read stuff that is the exact same structurally and pattern'ly and grammer'ly, you're just destroying whatever meager reading comprehension you've had, to zero. When you can adjust/adopt and read multiple unique styles, that's reading comprehension.


Some are animals, and others are objects that come to life

Yep, yep!

This is definitely easier to comprehend.


Then, there is the style of writing...
If you are selling a story from an alien's point of view, even if the dialog is magically translated to English, it should not sound quite like English... Think of Yoda in Star Wars...
Or, take this example from one of my stories involving a alien abduction...
After all... everyone has different names for different objects...

Research Leader is looking over the monitors displaying the current collection of captives when the hatchway opens and another member enters. "Research Leader, here is the results of most recent collections." Researcher 4 states as he(?) hands over the tablet, "You will find the results of F-314 most interesting. It has regressed into a dream like state and has not returned."
Research Leader looks the report over, "Yes, it is most strange... We will keep it apart from the other subjects. There may be other things we can learn from it."
"Yes Research Leader, it shall be done. Do you think the invasion will begin soon?"
"Only time will tell. This planet has a strange mix of creatures. There is much that we need to know before we risk troops in an invasion. There could be dangers we do not yet know."
"Yes, but if the conversions work on the test subjects correctly, there will not be risks our own troops."
"Restless are you? Don't be, after 43 planetary conversion, you too would be careful. Attack Leader has not failed so far, may he continue not to."
"I shall continue research on F-314." Researcher 4 leaves Research Leader to his duties and returns to the lab where F-314 is being held. He watches it for a while on the monitors, watching the thought waves, tuning the controls to determine where in its mind F-314 is...
Two other members enter the lab, "Researcher 4, what are your orders?"
"R-23, R-35, take all current specimens to the conversion chamber, but leave F-314 where it is, there are more tests to do on it."
"Yes Researcher 4." replied Researcher 23, and they both left the room. Researcher 4 returned to the controls, "Just a little more and I should... Got it!" The screen resolved into a view of a white room full of slithers. Several of them had secured F-314 in a spread wide out position. F-314 was thrashing about as if to escape from them, but was unable because of the four largest ones that held each limb. Several others had twined themselves around each of its upper and lower limbs. Two had wound themselves around the lumps on the upper torso and these were constricting them tightly, then loosely, over and over. One slither had mounted the upper torso and was examining its forward features. It looked somewhat like Researcher 4 and he wondered if he was seen while F-314 was under sedation.
"Interesting...", the screen had just changed to show a sleeping chamber, and a large one at that, and F-314 springing out of its nest. It was frantically looking for something in the nest, but was unable to find it...
Researcher 4 watched as several short progressions of different story lines progressed with reoccurrences of the slithers... "There must be some way to interact with F-314 to see what the images mean, and what the fascination with slithers mean." thought Research 4. "I wonder if I can connect with it using the neural interface..."

Elsewhere on the ship...
"Attack Leader, research had determined the usefulness of the natives to convert into attack drones." announced Research Leader. "The 200 surviving natives can be converted with a few losses."
Attack Leader quickly reads through the report, "How well will the drones work Research Leader? Will they stay under my control, or will they revert to self thought?"
Research Leader thought nervously, remembering Planet 228 and the failure of the first set of convertees... "I'm sure there will be few reverts, but they can be neutralized quickly. Safeguards can be installed." he added.
"Very well, convert a few and drop them on an outlying settlement and see what they can do. If they can capture it, convert the survivors. I will determine the next course of action after that."
"Yes Attack Leader, it will be done."


best style of speaking:

Ruruini Kenshin (english dub) anime series (the original - hadn't seen the new/re-make anime series, so don't know if it uses the same style of speaking or not), it's some-what like Yoda's, but different and so much better, hehe.


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