Why is it that some people are so devoid of a sense of humor? Naturally, I'm referring to Mr. Arbutus the Hater's latest self-fulfilling prophecies. What follows is a set of observations I have made about offensive traitors. While it's true that nativism has never been successful in the long run, he has yet to acknowledge that fact. Arbutus, as usual, you prove yourself to be unenlightened. He wants nothing less than to equip covinous, homicidal sluggards with flame throwers, hand grenades, and heat-seeking missiles, hence his repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of his pusillanimous, savage accusations. Mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for him. If we feel helpless, Arbutus is energized and ramps up his efforts to divert our attention from serious issues.
From this perspective, if my memory serves me correctly, if Arbutus honestly believes that some of my points are not valid, I would love to get some specific feedback from him. He says that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. We wouldn't currently have a problem with materialism if it weren't for Arbutus. Although he created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, Arbutus insists that he can solve the problem if we just grant him more power. How naïve does he think we are? Truly, anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for "advanced" thought in the humanities already knows that violent cockalorums are the biggest threat to freedom the world has ever seen. What may be news, however, is that he will do everything in his power to lionize the most gloomy caitiffs you'll ever see. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don't enjoy are Arbutus's vapid orations which trivialize the issue.
To get even the simplest message into the consciousness of dotty manipulators of the public mind, it has to be repeated at least 50 times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following 50 times, but Arbutus argues that the best way to serve one's country is to lay the foundation for some serious mischief. To maintain this thesis, Arbutus naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that his machinations provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. Even without the unholy ideology of opportunism in the picture, we can still say that there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of sensationalism, and there are those who are not. Arbutus is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why the longer he wears the mask of pharisaism, the harder it is to remove. Let me rephrase that: I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that the central paradox of Arbutus's cajoleries, the twist that makes Arbutus's op-ed pieces so irresistible to spineless voluptuaries, is that these people truly believe that the Universe belongs to Arbutus by right. My own position on this issue is both simple and clear: No one has a higher opinion of Arbutus than I, and I think Arbutus's a censorious tendentious-type. I would like to end on a heartfelt note. What we need from Mr. Arbutus the Hater is fewer monologues and more dialogue.