Jake On The Law by dgrossman

Man, don't you know? The laws ain't made to help earthy cats like us.
They're not?
:Nah, man. Listen. Here on our planet, back in the old days—back in the real old days—it was just every man for hisself, scrooblin' and scrat-scrobblin' for the good stuff, the greenest valleys, and scrat-scrobblin'. And the strongest, meanest men got the best stuff. They got the green valleys and were like, "The rest of you, y'all scrats get sand." And that's when they made the laws, you see. Once the strong guys got it how they like it, they said, "This is fair now. This is the law." Once they were winning, they changed the rules up.
Whoa, just like modern consumerism

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