I've been exploring other people's stories for a while, and I gotta say, many of these are underrated. I had to say something. Keep up the good work!
(P.S. I am choosing being a killer because I have a feeling fighting my inner demons will be harder.)
After checking out your other story, I read this one. ALSO EQUALLY AMAZING!
Partially because I'm sick myself.
OH MY LORD!
This is amazing! Lots of words, mostly well-written, some humor.
That's my type of story.
You have triggered me in all of the three ways. BUT! Great information. Although I know it is a school project and it's supposed to be realistic, I want you to add some lighthearted humor in it. It would fit well.
But yeah, that's all I have to say. Keep that in mind when making another story/project. You could just make a story just for fun, you know?
I'm thinking it's gonna be good, but I gave up halfway because
1. Minecraft brings back bad memories
2. I am a grammar freak
AYY!! This is GOOD!
Had me wondering at the end there. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WHO IS THAT BASTARD HANGING OUT WITH YOUR ASH!
But here's some feedback. I know you wanted to start off seemingly in the middle of a story to hook them in, and that's good. But maybe you could add some more backstory between Jo and Ash, like "Jo couldn't help but feel nostalgic as she remembered the good old days;".
Welp, that's about it. You've earned my respect. I'm looking forward to the next parts.
Also, would you mind if I asked you to check out my stories? That'd be GREATLY appreciated. :D