Warrior Cats: Part 2 by Warriorcats908

Review preppy gurl1

worst game pls do not play and to the writer pls delete

Comment KevinBlue18

@FernStone
This what writer’s block is/

Comment FG YX text-ventures

I LOVE part 1 but when i was playing this one ,it got stuck after Dawnpaw caught the prey...

i tried again and it cant work... also im just a 12 year old kid pls no be angry

Comment wolf2020

i love it

Comment FernStone

Another thing I would like to ask is What is writers block? I have not had it yet because I am so new but I have heard about it. Could anyone tell me what it is?

Review FernStone

I love what you did to the story and I love how much detail you put in it! Could you give me some tips so I can make mine better. My link is in the comment box. Overall I loved it and hope that you can make more.

Comment FernStone

Hi I am a new cat here who would like you to read my story and tell me how you think of it and the link is right here!

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/maojjgjufkylkipmpwxhfg/warrior-cats-thunderclan

I hope that You will comment your opinion and enjoy. Also I liked your entire story and think It was great. Could You give me some tips on how to make it better anyone?

Review WarriorCatz

It needs more..

Comment WarriorCatz

It would be nice for it to be added to, overall I really enjoyed!

Review derpydogdoge123

Haven't even played it yet, I know it's AWESOME already!

Comment Ghost9011

love it UwU

Review STORMalsoTHELIONGUARDGIRL1209

.......0_0.......great job!!!!

Review Featherstrike

Interesting. Simply interesting.

Review Detective

I like it so far :)

Review Shadow Fur

I like the cliff-hanger, can we get a part 3?

Comment Warriorcats908

Okay, thanks for telling me. I will change it. Though I do have to add the love interest because in the last game, people asked me to add some romance.

Comment BottlecapJazz

I have, just in this narrative, it sounds a bit strange. "Even the ones you secretly like."

I would keep it phrased to talking about you and your siblings though as it flows better as that's what the story is about. Though if you do want to include the fact that the love interest is apprenticed as well, why not add it to the sentence?

Such as: "Later on your father apprentices you, your siblings, and (love interests' names)!"

One more thing, don't force the player to have a love interest, if they are there in the story, that is fine but let the player decide if they like them, it feels more real.

Comment Warriorcats908

For the bit where it says "the ones you secretly like", you have to play the first part. Have you though?

Comment BottlecapJazz

I would have suggested placing in the introduction before uploading it, but I'll stick to the basics here for your description.

Welcome back to the Warrior Cats!
-Sounds good though a proper title (such as Warrior Cats: Into the Wild) would be nice.

Your father tells the whole Clan about the prophecy, and your sister figures out what it means, but could she possibly be right?
-After writing the other comment, you can see my disappointment with the prophecy. Though, if you keep it completely as is, this would be a great line!

Later, your father decides to upgrade you and your siblings into Apprentices.
-Upgrade you? That's sounds quite odd, why not state is as, "Later on your father decides to apprentice you and your siblings!"

Yay!
-I'd suggest not using "yay" all together, just add on an explanation point to the other sentence.

Even the ones you secretly like.
-That came out of now where? I can't really bridge this as it is extremely out of place.

But as you become an apprentice, danger becomes harder as you grow, challenges get challenging.
-This line just sounds so dull, I'm not feeling afraid nor worried. "Danger becomes harder as you grow?" It's pretty blank and has no description. "Challenges get challenging?" This feel odd and too copy and paste. What I would suggest is, "As you grow the looming fate of uncertainty hangs over your head and StarClan's burden grows day by day."

Can you save your Clan with the help of your siblings?
-It works for the situation I would say.

Comment Warriorcats908

Hello! To anyone who is reading this, please comment here and give me some ideas to add to this part or at least give me ideas for more drama.