INTENSITY by Divergent13

Review Icamenal

Again, the punctuation. And I didn't feel like any of my decisions had much effect on the outcome.

Review kaleb006

i like it but it only ended in my death, allyson!

Comment Divergent13

Thank you very much XanMag I will try and fix all of the punctuation and grammar in the future when I continue to make games!

Comment XanMag

Spell check and grammar. PLEASE use quotations/punctuations in the proper place. Quotation and punctuation marks not used correctly I began paused and then continued certainly can make a sentence difficult to read. Also I declare its you're not your (in most cases you used it).

^ see... tough to read, right? Instead...

"Quotation and punctuation marks not used correctly," I began, paused and then continued, "certainly can make a sentence difficult to read." Also, I declare, "It's you're not your" (in most cases you used it.

You seem to want to tell stories which is an admirable quality, but it does make it a bit difficult to read when there are some grammar errors that distract from your story telling. If you can clear that up, I think you've got something. The first step is having a story and an imagination. It appears you have those. I will be happy to give your stories a proofread if you want... or find any English teacher worth a darn and they should be willing to do that also. I am, after all, only a science teacher. =)

Continue writing and continue working on what you love to do!

Good luck and happy gaming. If you have questions, feel free to PM me!

Comment Divergent13

Thank you, is there anything I could work on?

Review MrPikmin16

Good job on your first game! :P