I'm rather enjoying these stories you write, although I think you need to do a once over for editing, I noticed a couple spots that didn't quite mesh (fairly minor though so its pretty much fine), but mostly I think just make the next one a bit longer and maybe add a few more options, to make it more of a adventure rather than reading through
(on the other hand its good as is, so I suppose either way works lol)
I think this is shaping up to be a neat little story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Goodbye and good-luck
-Arch
4/5
