DWaM

Reviews by DWaM

Review for Flawless
25 Dec 2016
There are quite a few issues in regards to grammar and sentence structure, which really hurt the experience for me personally. I understand what you were going for, but the impact wasn't as strong as it could've been. The "insults" felt quite bare because at no point did the machine really know who I was nor did he get a chance to, so it never managed to cut deep. At best it felt like a typical "reason you suck speech" (minus the impact, I suppose). And once you put all of that aside, all you're left with is the machine's (or perhaps the creator's) "revelation". I never really felt like it explained its philosophy fully and it just came off as basic nihilism.

In any case, could've been a lot more.
(2)

25 Dec 2016
Very short, even "tutorial"-wise (which is an odd choice of title, since very little is actually learned by the player in regards to how to play the game -- certainly nothing that they couldn't have already known or figured out themselves).

One has a hard time understanding what is going on in the beginning and even later. The narrative, at one point, switched from second to third person (are we supposed to be Joel?) We're supposed to use the escape pod but are given no reason as to why to do it -- there's barely any indication that something bad is even going on. In fact, your very first actions seem to suggest you're just getting ready for lift-off. Which would be consistent with the description ("you started liftoff"), but no mention of the following "wormhole" is there. Our helmet is also cracked all of a sudden for some reason. You then just suddenly use the escape pod (for whatever reason) and voila, you're now on an alien planet.

Another issue is that events are just summarized for us, like "(The ship went into the atmosphere of the big yellow planet and crash landed.)". Why would we not experience it crash landing? And I'm confused -- what does the ship have to do with anything if we were in an escape pod. Did you mean the pod crash landed? Either way, the point of putting you into the interactive fiction is to have you play it and experience it. Just summarizing won't do a lot of the time.

Finally, the grammar had quite a few problems throughout it. I recommend spell-checking in the future.
(1)


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