Star Wars: Mission I by kadeship

Comment kadeship

The hangar door was supposed to be locked until you set the bomb on the shield... oh well. There is a mission II coming out soon and I will be sure to test run that. Thank you!

Comment iceburner

There's a bug where if you return to the hangar after making it inside the ship's hallways, you can't get back in because the keypad is missing.

Review iceburner

I agree with the previous review by Odie_da_Bosse.
To add, the content of the story starts out fine and the descriptions of the examined items give hints on what to do. Then all too quickly there's minimal description and it's hard to figure out what to do and what commands will advance the story.
The timed event near the beginning of the game is a good element of urgency but it's lacking in execution. I'm willing to bet that no one gets it the first time since there's hardly enough time to read the text let alone type the command.
This game is a good start and judging by your writing you have a lot of potential. I suggest taking a bit of time to test it out, try out the suggestions given so far and you're sure to have a game that will attract a lot of people (at least sci-fi fans like me!)

Review Odie_da_Bossé

Liked the concept. I understand you had no time for a test run, but a few things that would make this easier and a lot more fun are missing...

An example is spacing. You need to make large passages into paragraphs, otherwise the reader will fall asleep. Also, you need to be more specific in how to use something, and descriptions for items, for further clues.

On the plus side, you have a great writing talent. I immediately recognised the writing strategies used in your work; things like a new line between each speech.

As well as cons, there are pros. So good luck in your next game!

Comment Jay Nabonne

There should be a requirement that games with timed events have to state that up front. I made my way onto the station and through the door, looked away at something and back, and I was dead. Just a personal beef...

A tip about punctuating dialogue: take a quick look on the internet (Google it, for example) to see how it's done. Fortunately, it's not too hard, but it's easy to get wrong, and once you do, it's wrong EVERYWHERE in your work.

Something like:

"Yes, sir." You say.

should be:

"Yes, sir," you say.

The "you say" is part of the same sentence. The way it's written in the game, it's a completely separate sentence, which is not what you want. Similarly, it would be:

"97879," it says in a droid voice.

Comment kadeship

Sorry if there are any problems. I didn't have time to test run it.