"Fate Of Fire" Episode 1: Courage Without Honor DEMO by SivD1

Review Soviet Onion

Im hungry for more

Review aporou99

hmm the story to much word no sense just to the point

Comment Tiberius Stark of Winterfell

Also one more thing, at times you present the main character as being the reader while at other parts you do not.

Comment Tiberius Stark of Winterfell

Excellent game! Just one minor thing, you would be better off calling the coat, a cloak or wolf pelt. Besides that, absolutely phenomenal, coming from An A song of Ice and Fire Fanatic.

Comment SivD1

So this is going to be hard for me to write.

Don't worry, I'm not dying, and nothing is getting cancelled. It's honestly the opposite.

I just feel terrible getting back to you guys so late. I left this site in silence for over half a year and made no substantial progress on Fate Of Fire until this afternoon. I've had a rough time getting back into the swing of things lately, with school and everything else life throws at me. However, do not think I lost interest in the story. It's never left my mind, and I haven't thought about throwing it away for good.

I have a story to tell here, and it seems you guys want to hear it. The DEMO for this story is the second highest rated RPG on the website and has 3486 plays. Those kind of numbers honestly make me swell up with pride, and I want to finish this so I can give it back to you guys who have been supporting it, and just so I can finally say that I saw it through and wasn't a quitter. Will I ever finish writing the 4 part story that is Fate Of Fire: Book 1? I have no clue. This story has been in development for about 15 months now, and I am just over halfway done the first part. However, I at least want to finish the first part so you guys can finally get a glimpse of the vision I had for this adventure, even if you may never see the heights the story reaches later on. I can't stress enough that Part 1 is a lot of setup for what becomes quite an original story that I can say I am proud of. This isn't just the story of the House Stark told with different names, I set out to make a tale that will genuinely surprise and intrigue the player, and will force them to make choices that Telltalle Games has never had time to make, simply because some of them have effects so unexpected, it would take much longer than 2-3 months to release each bit. I should know, it's been over a year, and I still have no clue when the first bit will be finished.

Going back and reading what I've already written is a little rough. I'm a b

Comment InsomniaInteractive

If you want to make a game of highest potential, release the full game all-together. If you release parts and parts at a time, it becomes pretty boring.

Comment Redwind

I agree with the comments of Frostedge, which I find rather helpful as well since I am writing my own Sword and Fantasy work. Anyway; you also need something in my humble opinion that many writers overlook. Please include a "DRAMATIS PERSONAE" front section. It greatly helps to keep track of who is who, and likewise group them under the name of their "House" or whatever group they belong to. Interactions of characters could also be included for greater clarity.

Review moonfire

I've read the song of ice and fire series and this game is just phenomenal! I love how you kept true to the writing style of the books! I cant wait for the rest of this game to be made so I can finish it!

Comment SivD1

I am here 9 days later than expected!

Ah yes, me and my underestimation skills come through yet again. But hey, I come tonight with more update content than usual.

I will start us off with the actual update on progress, which is that I have successfully finished doing all the linking for Chapter 5. IT IS DONE! FINISHED. I won't need to create any further branches or pages for this monstrously large chapter. However, I now have to finish writing it. It is simple as filling in the blanks, if the blanks were all unique and different from each other, and would each require specific tweeking.

In some fun news that really doesn't have anything to do with progress, I downloaded about 25 new songs to my phone, all of them by one of my new favorite bands: Muse. Holy shit is this trio good, and super experimental. Though Origin of Symmetry is my favorite album of theirs, I can appreciate a blend of all of them as I work. To list just some of my most loved tracks of theirs, I really like "Plug In Baby", "Space Dementia", "Supremacy", "Knights Of Cydonia", "Dead Inside", "The Handler", "Madness", "New Born", "Uprising" and "Reapers". Those are just a handful of the masterpieces these guys have come up with, and I really hope to see them perform live someday.

Finally, I have actually come up with some interactive content for you guys to participate in this week. So for upcoming projects that will be out in the distant future, should I release the episodes as I currently do right now? Or try a new technique?

Let me elaborate; I currently release a new part/episode whenever I finish it, never set to a deadline or release date. Now, my idea of the new technique would be to write over half the series before even releasing the first part. For example, let's say I'm writing a five part series. Once I'm about halfway through the 4th part, I will release part 1. What are the pros to this, you may ask?

Comment SivD1

And I am back!

So it seems I definitely shot myself in the foot when I said that it would be finished by the end of the month. I clearly underestimated the time that it would take to write and link all of this together.

Speaking of linking, there's been an awful lot of that going on. I have been working hard on this project lately, as a push to get it finished. However, within the past four days, I've spent about ten hours purely on linking branches, and I'm still not finishing linking Chapter 5. Thankfully, once the linking is done, it should be smooth sailing to finish the chapter, as I'll only need to write it out. In the past few days, I've also gone back and re-wrote some things earlier on, while also fixing a few bugs.

My hope is that I'll be done linking Chapter 5 by Monday, and then I can get to typing the rest of Chapter 5 and hopefully have it finished by next week's update. I'll make sure to post a tiny success update once the linking is done!

I'll hopefully get to you guys on Monday!

Thanks again,

David

Comment SivD1

Hey there guys! Been a while, eh? Aha, sorry about that... Things have been busy.

I'm currently juggling two shows, and a job, so I have something every night of the week. On the flip side, however, IT'S SUMMER! And that means when I get time to work, I will work a ton!

As of the first week of summer went, my free time was plunged into Batman: Arkham Knight and TFTB Episode 3, both of which are superb (Batman is gonna take me a while to 100%, but I am loving every second of it!

As far as text adventures go, I'm hoping to finish this sometime by the end of next month, but Lord knows I am NOT making any promises just yet. So yes! I'm not dead! It's crunch time! Back to work! Hope Summer is treating you all well!

Comment cat4cat

Just checking in to say this is awesome!! Don't worry about pushing through to get chapters done to please fans or work toward a release schedule; just take your time and keep writing to your standards and all will be well.

If you ever need a beta when you're feeling bogged down with writing and editing, feel free to reach out to me. I would be happy to help and remain sworn to secrecy :)

Comment SivD1

Well hello again! It's Sunday!

Not too much to touch on this week, for I didn't get to work on it all that much. However, I re-played it another time on my iPad, and screenshotted all the misspellings and sentences that could be re-written. Afterwards, I went back on the file and updated everything, upping the quality even more so.

I haven't gotten many new things done this week, since Chapter 5 features another court session like the one in Chapter 3. Sadly, since there are even more branches thanks to all the choices, it takes even longer to write it all out. So this week, all I've done is make new pages and link them together.

Like I said, I'm sorry for not getting much done this week, but I'll keep trying my best to post an update here every Sunday to keep you guys in the know and to keep the thread alive. Have a great week guys!

Comment SivD1

Well hey, it's Sunday! And if you know me, you know that Sunday is my unofficial Update Day! I'll try to post something every Sunday just so I stay active enough on these forums so you guys can have an idea on the progress of the story.

Not too much to say this week, but I did get some progress done. To re-immerse myself into the universe, I pretty much BETA-tested my own story, and reread all of it (which to the point where I had stopped, took me about 40 minutes, by the way, while taking my time a bit). While doing so, I noticed some slight inconsistencies, as well as some things that could be improved. So I dedicated the last week on tweeking all I've done so far, ad I have to say, I have high hopes that you guys will love this thing as much as I do. I have some serious faith in this project, and I see it going places. I will continue editing some bits, then I'll get back to pushing ahead.

As busy as I am lately, I've felt more inspired to continue writing, meaning that I'm getting more done. Who knows? Maybe it'll be done before summer? Thanks again guys, I'm in a good mood! :D

Comment SivD1

Well then... hasn't it been a while that I've posted anything. So umm... update?

I know, it's the same old story every time. Sadly, it's a true one. Production on this story is super slow, and that's because of school, many auditions and shows in progress. Tonight is the first time that I've opened the file in a month. I know this is probably extremely frustrating, but I just don't get as much time to work on it that I once did.

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not cancelling the story, nor am I delaying it. I'm just warning you all that the story is developing slowly, and it is still going to take some more time then I had anticipated. I'll try posting more updates as I continue ahead. Thanks again, guys.

Comment SivD1

No, this story does not take place in Westoros, but in a new land called Hephus. As I've said, the story is inspired by Game Of Thrones, but is not a fan fiction of any kind.

Comment TBear

Cool. I enjoyed this, and am looking forward to it's release.
Is it in the same world as 'a song of ice and fire' or a different world?

Looking forward to see the development of the plot.

Comment SivD1

Hello Jennie, Happy New Year!

Yes, I will be uploading more parts eventually, and they will be much longer and higher in quality than this. I don't have a release window for Part 1 of Book 1 just yet, but I would love for it to be out sometime in either February or March.

Like the description above suggests, Part 1 is approximately 20%. I will update it every time it is increased by 5%. There is 5% of progress every time that I finish writing a chapter/revise it. This DEMO is actually the full first chapter of Part 1 (though not the revised version)! I have currently typed and revised the first two chapters, and there will be 10 in total for Part 1.

I am currently almost done typing Chapter 3, and it is my favorite to date by far, it'll test your wits as well as your morals ;)

I would love to have a concrete schedule for release, but I don't want to get peoples' hopes up and then disappoint when I can't deliver on time. You see, I am a very busy person. I act, sing, go to school and much more, and that's without family and free time! It also makes it harder when each Chapter varies in size (actually, I believe Chapter 1 or in other words, this demo, is the shortest so far).

So anyways, I hope that answered your questions. Also, I noticed that you took an interest in my The Walking Dead series as well. Not to fear! Once I am done Part 1 of this, I will return and make Episode 3 of The Walking Dead!

Anyways, thanks again for your support,

-David

Comment JennieTS

Will you upload more parts? if so, when?

awesome story btw xoxo

Review TheHatMan

Well, I'd like to say nice work once again SivD1, not only does this demo is really interesting work, I've recently watched game of thrones of request of a friend and I was happy to see that you have been making a game based off of it or at least similar to it. I will be looking forward into the very first episode of this game, it honestly holds a lot of potential and I don't meant to say that about most games. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. It honestly depends on the presentation of the game, that's why I'm not writing such a long review. So anyway, keep up the good work man!

Review JennieTS

great great great!
too bad it's so short tho
can't wait to see how it'll turn out

Review paultara

AWESOME!!!

Comment Frostedge

I'd absolutely love to set up a more solid and free-flow form of correspondence. It's not often that I run into a fellow storywriter with such decency and civility. I'll give you my Skype, so you can add me whenever you'd like: Arcticside/Frostedge (Just look for the snowflake).

Comment SivD1

Note that there might be an upcoming angry 1-star unjustified review from awesomeman12345. I left a negative review on his adventure, and in the past, he tends to retaliate on the reviewers' own stories. So just keep that in mind. And if he does post it, I will report him once and for all.

Review ejm29

I have have never seen or read the game of thones books and show, but I still very much enjoyed this game. The description of Peter at the start felt a little slap bash, but that's about all I have a problem with. The story itself is well told and kept me intrested. I really look forward to the full version. Well done!

Comment SivD1

Wow, Frostedge, many thanks for the great review! As I stated in the description, I released this demo for the purpose of feedback and suggestions before I got to far ahead of myself. I will keep this in mind as I move forward. Thanks again!

Review Frostedge

I, myself, am a big fan of A Song of Ice and Fire, so I’m curious as to how it’ll work out.

The first thing I noticed is that the physical appearance of the character is described almost immediately, in a sort of checklist-y fashion. Hair is named, then the beard is described, they eyes are portrayed, the noses presented, the skin colour described, and clothing as well. While I’m not against this form of presenting a character, I believe it to be better to weave their physical properties into the narrative. If he’s looking at something intently, describe his eyes. If the wind rushes past his head, describe the hair as the story itself interacts with it. If his nose is itchy, describe the thing. This'll introduce your character in a more natural way.

Minor gripes aside, I see a common mistake a lot of writers make (myself included). It’s called the Info-Dump, a section of text where you present the reader/player with a large amount of information that they can’t possible comprehend. Try and pace the information you provide a bit more, it’ll help people understand the story more easily and become more invested in the story itself. Don’t forget, just because the story makes sense to you as the writer, doesn’t mean it’ll inherently make sense to the readers/players. Make sure to take that into account when writing.

Occasionally, the writing has a lacking capital letters at the start of sentences. I also noticed that your periods, commas and question marks are placed outside of the brackets of speech. For example.
“And how is Riegan standing as of late”? = “And how is Riegan standing as of late?”

The writing itself is well done, though certain chunks of text make it difficult to keep track of who is saying what exactly. You could put a break between every time a new character starts speaking. This’ll help the layout become easier on the eyes for the reader/player.

Overall, very well written, but the minor errors break the immersion enough for it to be jarring. If you improve on the points I've