The Witness by Mitzi M. G.

Review by DaNiX88

As my rating suggests, it was OK. I was generally bored with reading cut-and-pasted paragraphs/choices, but was eventually satisfied in the end when one of the options finally gave a conclusion to the story. I felt it was unsatisfactorily short, and (ironically) lacked colourful choices.

You want critique, so I won't publish a review yet.

In my opinion, I suggest that you should follow through with the options you give and allow them to lead to a different ending each time, limiting a "fail"-type option for only one or two choices. You should assume the reader is correct/accurate in their description as a witness (or not, in a couple of choices?), and continue the plot for each choice separately, possibly adding more choices for different plots to allow the story to develop further/uniquely for each choice subsequently made.

This story has a lot of potential and is very unique from most of the stories posted on this site. I highly suggest you develop your story into more of a traversable work of art.