The Witness by Mitzi M. G.

This is my first time trying to make an interactive story. I found the site, got an idea, and went with it.
Critique is welcome :)

-Mitzi M. G.
Review by DaNiX88
06 Jul 2015
As my rating suggests, it was OK. I was generally bored with reading cut-and-pasted paragraphs/choices, but was eventually satisfied in the end when one of the options finally gave a conclusion to the story. I felt it was unsatisfactorily short, and (ironically) lacked colourful choices.

You want critique, so I won't publish a review yet.

In my opinion, I suggest that you should follow through with the options you give and allow them to lead to a different ending each time, limiting a "fail"-type option for only one or two choices. You should assume the reader is correct/accurate in their description as a witness (or not, in a couple of choices?), and continue the plot for each choice separately, possibly adding more choices for different plots to allow the story to develop further/uniquely for each choice subsequently made.

This story has a lot of potential and is very unique from most of the stories posted on this site. I highly suggest you develop your story into more of a traversable work of art.
(3)

Log in to post a review or comment.
Similar Games

Shipwrecked


Death off the Cuff


Nearco II (Remake) - La perdición de la Ninfa


SURVIVE


Doctor Who's Birthday Cake Must Be Found


Average rating
(3)
Written by
Mitzi M. G.

Plays
541
External Link
Published 19 Jun 2015

Share

Support

Forums