"Fate Of Fire" Episode 1: Courage Without Honor DEMO by SivD1

PROGRESS: Meh, who knows? Chapter 5 is complete though, so 5/10 of the chapters are complete.

Why hello there! This is only a small slice of the pilot of my grand new series: "Fate Of Fire"! It is heavily inspired by "Game Of Thrones" and the "A Song Of Ice And Fire" series.

Note that is the early version (of less than 10% of the final version of Episode 1), and I'll revise it all before it's published.

There is no set amount of episodes just yet, but I have the first four episodes fully planned. I believe there will be more than five, however.

There is also no set release date as of right now, but the typing of Episode 1 has just started.

The story will change between perspectives of multiple characters, and similar to Telltale's series (and similar to Game Of Thrones), one choice from even the smallest character can cause conflict and might mean somebody's life.

The episodes will also be quite long, possibly being about the same time as an actual episode of the television series. And each episode will be filled with story and character development, along with plenty of meaningful choices.

That's all in the information that I'll share for now. If you could leave some feedback and some suggestions, I would highly appreciate it!

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Review by aporou99
23 Mar 2016
hmm the story to much word no sense just to the point
(3)

Review by moonfire
29 Jul 2015
I've read the song of ice and fire series and this game is just phenomenal! I love how you kept true to the writing style of the books! I cant wait for the rest of this game to be made so I can finish it!
(5)

Review by TheHatMan
25 Dec 2014
Well, I'd like to say nice work once again SivD1, not only does this demo is really interesting work, I've recently watched game of thrones of request of a friend and I was happy to see that you have been making a game based off of it or at least similar to it. I will be looking forward into the very first episode of this game, it honestly holds a lot of potential and I don't meant to say that about most games. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. It honestly depends on the presentation of the game, that's why I'm not writing such a long review. So anyway, keep up the good work man!
(5)

Review by JennieTS
23 Dec 2014
great great great!
too bad it's so short tho
can't wait to see how it'll turn out
(5)

Review by paultara
16 Dec 2014
AWESOME!!!
(5)

Review by ejm29
15 Dec 2014
I have have never seen or read the game of thones books and show, but I still very much enjoyed this game. The description of Peter at the start felt a little slap bash, but that's about all I have a problem with. The story itself is well told and kept me intrested. I really look forward to the full version. Well done!
(5)

Review by Frostedge
15 Dec 2014
I, myself, am a big fan of A Song of Ice and Fire, so I’m curious as to how it’ll work out.

The first thing I noticed is that the physical appearance of the character is described almost immediately, in a sort of checklist-y fashion. Hair is named, then the beard is described, they eyes are portrayed, the noses presented, the skin colour described, and clothing as well. While I’m not against this form of presenting a character, I believe it to be better to weave their physical properties into the narrative. If he’s looking at something intently, describe his eyes. If the wind rushes past his head, describe the hair as the story itself interacts with it. If his nose is itchy, describe the thing. This'll introduce your character in a more natural way.

Minor gripes aside, I see a common mistake a lot of writers make (myself included). It’s called the Info-Dump, a section of text where you present the reader/player with a large amount of information that they can’t possible comprehend. Try and pace the information you provide a bit more, it’ll help people understand the story more easily and become more invested in the story itself. Don’t forget, just because the story makes sense to you as the writer, doesn’t mean it’ll inherently make sense to the readers/players. Make sure to take that into account when writing.

Occasionally, the writing has a lacking capital letters at the start of sentences. I also noticed that your periods, commas and question marks are placed outside of the brackets of speech. For example.
“And how is Riegan standing as of late”? = “And how is Riegan standing as of late?”

The writing itself is well done, though certain chunks of text make it difficult to keep track of who is saying what exactly. You could put a break between every time a new character starts speaking. This’ll help the layout become easier on the eyes for the reader/player.

Overall, very well written, but the minor errors break the immersion enough for it to be jarring. If you improve on the points I've mentioned, I'm certain this'll get some pretty neat scores.
(4)

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Average rating
(4.57)
Written by
SivD1

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4824
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Written for Quest 5.5
Published 14 Dec 2014
Updated 21 Feb 2016

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