Yonder by ToastyK

Comment DaNiX88

Okay, I've completed the game. I'll add another comment. I was able to interact with the goblin, after I had read the shadow part. Though there was an -error running script- after I opened the curtain. You should check the scripts and debug whatever it is that's causing that.

I'll also add some additional advice to XanMag's.
Three things: OBJECTS, DESCRIPTIONS, VERBS.
- You need to make a lot of objects. People like to see everything, especially things listed in the description, for example, I tried to look at the skeleton at the beginning and I couldn't see it, let alone interact with it!
- You should make the effort to add a description for every single thing you can. The message "Nothing out of the ordinary" should never be seen!
- Try adding and experimenting with more verbs and be consistent with them, for example, you can ATTACK the goblin, but you can't ATTACK the wizard.
- You should have a few extra common verbs that may or may not be used, but give an interesting response, for example, I tried to LIFT something, but my command wasn't understood. A good example would be saying "LIFT canyon"
> "You can't lift that!!"

My final piece of advice for you is to play many TAs and experience what it's like to play and get used to a more advance game and get ideas for your own games. I've played plenty myself, out of the top game posters on this site and have gained a lot of valuable insight into what makes a great, and highly interactive game.

Okay, I'm done. And I'm going to check back again sometime and try again! Good luck.

Comment DaNiX88

I really want to play this game! I would also like to add a little about the bow. I can see the net if I look at the leaves, but then... I can't look at the net. I'd love to undo the trap, but I don't know *if* I can, and if it's possible, *how* I could, since many of the verbs I'm used to in other prominent TAs don't apply here.

Same problem with the goblin room. There should be a way to prepare or protect oneself when entering a potentially dangerous area.

Review MisterPibb316

Two thoroughly excellent comments have already been left, detailing why this game falls short of its promise. I have a hunch that one persistent afternoon of fixing up bugs and adding/ironing descriptions is all that is needed for a much more satisfactory playing experience to be constructed.

Comment Marzipan

Seconding XanMag's comment...this has a nice classic feel to it and a lot of potential. It's easy to see the author has put in a lot of effort and some of the room descriptions are quite good, but some bugs and the lack of object descriptions really let it down. It's kind of off putting seeing things all this interesting scenery and things like skeletons and shattered boat wrecks and then just getting told 'you don't see that' over and over again.

It's funny I so often come across bad games on this site that they don't even phase me anymore, but here we have one that is SO close to being really good it actually bugs me even more because I can't help but think about what could have been. I'd really recommend the author ask for beta testers and advice on the forum and consider a Yonder 2.0, because I'd love to see what this could be with a little more testing and polish.

Comment XanMag

You have the right idea here - a very classic TA feel to the game. This is what I look for on this site, but...

a bit of constructive criticism:
1. Don't add objects in your room description comments unless you can, in the least, look at them in the game. For example... "The walls are much too unstable for climbing with only hands, but with some equipment it (change from 'is') is possible. The boulders look so precarious..." - x boulders or x walls = I can't see that. This is a very simple fix. Just add those objects and give them a simple description.
2. For those objects that you can add to your inventory, make sure the room descriptions are different after you remove it from the room. There are multiple ways to achieve this.
3. Play your own game many times to iron out any bug-a-boos. Like 'take river' = "you can't take the ."
4. I killed the goblin without ever seeing him. I died opening the chest. On the next play through I typed 'kill goblin' after entering the room, and despite the goblin not being there, I killed it anyway.
5. I gave up after getting in the cavern. I assume, as with the ravine below, there is difficulty with the correct commands on your end. At the ravine... there is no mention of a cliff unless you try to go up. Before trying to go up, I issued tons of commands to try to climb the wall (i.e. use hook on wall, use hook on boulder, use hook on rock/s, use hook, etc). After trying to go up, I get a message about not being able to climb the CLIFF without equipment. After picking up the key in the cavern, I see the rainbow on the back wall, but cannot interact with it (the wall or the rainbow) in any way.
6. Add descriptions, add descriptions, add descriptions!! We want to have a feeling of depth in the game and one way to achieve this simply is to add descriptions to EVERY object, but especially those you can add to your inventory.

I took time to comment on this because I do get the feeling of an old sc