Alex, you need to write more pieces. I love that the setting is a real location. So few people my area actually seem to explore their local transportation. They just know the way to work and back; that's it. So many people seem to run on autopilot. Perhaps there should be an option to 'ruin' the game by SPOILER.
The story is a little flat and boring in places, a lot of places in fact. Not quite sure what the acutal point of it all is, as there is never a clear goal.
The humour is pretty bad too, and the interaction is pretty non-immersive.
I guess I would play this, but not the best thing in the world.
Admittedly, this story isn't necessarily my cup of tea (mainly because of the pessimism/apathy of the main character), but its narrative is clear, with a perfect amount of elaborate description. This story deserves publication, though the final plot twist has become cliche in modern storytelling. It very much works.
The reason for the 3 star rating is that there is very little in the way of interaction here. If there was just a little bit more--say, some sort of puzzles--I would have no issue increasing the score. I know on the surface that would seem to take away from the narrative, but if those puzzles were incorporated into the narrative, then what we would have here is a really good game, to match the really solid story.
I can't say I'm overwhelmed. The plot seems rather pointless and takes a long time to pick up; after a while of changing trains, I was almost ready to ctrl+w, believing that there really was nothing there but a "poignant" reminder of the tedium of life, the importance of making irrational decisions and humankind's simultaneous compulsions to fit in and be themselves.
It would appear that you intend to teach us to catch the day, but honestly, I don't think fiction will do that job, or at least not for myself.
Also, having to reload the page and view the trainpicture appear and slowly fade every single time the game decides to white out or ignore my command gets a bit tedious.
The various animations are pretty neat. Is there a reason why the screen is filled with letters when dear little Zorma Wossname passes out, or are you simply required to use text? Because in that case, dots would probably be a better representation of freckles or whatever it was you wrote of.
Very good, excellently written.
Though my only complaint is this; I find that it's not my story, that I'm just reading someone else's story and I only choose small things. Please check out my games; Lost Dog, Memory Path, and many more! (Even though I'm pretty new here!)