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What a fucking piece of dog shit. This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick. This game is about as fucking appealing as an ooze infested fucking sewer rat shit. I've had more fun playing with dog turds. The basic dino sucks my ass, Tyson sucks my balls. This game is an inside out asshole regurgitating putrid anal fecal matter. I'd fucking rather yank all the hairs out of my scrotum. I'd rather drink diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's anus. It sucking fucks, it fucking sucks, it fucking blows, it's a piece of shit, and I don't like it.
All this terrible game has done is pushed great games out of the top ten list and brought back dther99. I hope your proud of yourself, Jay.
Well, it is actually Holes, with an s. And unfortunetly this was no better than your last game.
Your missions is to kill Mr Holamolladola. You MUST kill him.
You can look,speak to tv.
you can look,sit on couch.
You are in home.
There is a TV, a couch, a Table with a gun on it. and a body lying on the table. here.
You can go south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast or southwest.
> look at Body
you killed him :)
> speak to Body
He's dead
> take Body
You can't take that.
> look at Table
it has a gun lying on it.
> take gun
I can't see that here.
> take Table
You can't take that.
> northwest
oh no no no noooo
> west
You are in weapons room.
There is a Hand gun. and Ak47 here.
You can go east.
> take Ak47
> take Hand gun.
> east
You are in home.
There is a TV, a couch, a Table with a gun on it. and a body lying on the table. here.
You can go south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast or southwest.
> southwest
(Red Screen)
> south
You are in presadents office.
There is the Presadent and a note pad here.
You can go north.
> look at Note pad
it has "public anouncement 5:50 today" writen on it.
> shoot presadent
I don't understand your command. Type HELP for a list of valid commands.
> use Ak47
You can't use that here.
> use ak47 on presadent
you shoot at Mr holamoladola.
---
1 star.
For me it does - The internet just hates you Elex ^_^
Heh, fun :) It *is* simple, and for that it can be addictive. You should try making some other classical dice games such as Zilch for that extra fun facor! Good to see more new faces around too.
I rate this a fair 3.5 stars, but since the rating system is gay it'll have to be a 3 star from me.
Don't forget to introduce yourself on the Forums!
Thana
LOL. Funneh! Nice game, grammer needs work (Miss has two s's, After a ! you don't need to add a full stop) but I enjoyed it :)
DORK
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FIRECRACKER
FUN
FUN
FUN
kekeke...
Thana
Three stars is too high. I found the ame bugs that I find in *any* of GAMER!'s gams.
Hmm.
Well.
Your grammer is terrible. Please use a spell check such as this: http://orangoo.com/spell/ Before uploading your games.
The game itself is confusing. I don't really understand what is going on most of the time. Whats up with the wierd puppets? Why do I have to jump out a window to get to the town centre? What town is this anyway? What is my NAME?
Thank you for your apology, but please, there is no need to include that into your game. Out here in the site is fine.
This gamemade Top Ten because only one person has even bothered to review it.
I would appreciate it if you didn't call me a prick. If you are unable to handle the truth of the matter - that your games are appalling - then please work on improving them, instead of being downright rude.
Now for the actual review.
This almost seemed like a good game from reading the first room, but the rest of it is just downhill from there. You lose alot of points for the (usual) terrible grammer that plauges most games. Nitpicking:
I didn't want to shoot the Gangsters, just look at them! What is this?! Besides, after you "look" at them the first time, try it again and they get killed all over again!
All these retarded side quests make no sense whatsoever. Sorry, but once again, another 1 star must be awarded to your game.
What a coincidence. An aweful lot of Micheal's running around, isn't there.
Very confusing game. The red background hurt my eyes a little bit. There are hardly any room descriptions, other than "You can buy/trade items and fish."
(10 = Good)
Gameplay = 1 (Uninteresting.)
Grammer = 3 (There was hardly any text to rate this on.)
Fun = 1 (There was very little to do.)
Storyline = 1 (There isn't one.)
Overall = 1.5 (As the rating system doesn't work like that, the game is a 1.)
No no no no no no no no! Bad Magix! Bad!
Please, please, please concentrate on improving your grammer and game creation skills before making heaps of gams destined for the sandpit. I would recommend signing up at the forums, if you haven't already!
Thana
Why didn't you post this before? Its absolutely BRILLIANT!
Better than most. At least half the time I could actually understand what the people where saying. The comnbat system is a bit retarded though. Keep up the good work(?)
Try playing his other games. This one is a massive improvement from them.
Oh wait, it's still one star. And crap.
Wow, this game is confusing. It pains me to say this but, well, the truth is, it isn't that good. Grammer is terrible. All the usual stuff that is wrong with games seems to be compiled here.
Besides, sleeping dragons are a bit out of the ordinary. I don't walk down the street like: "Oh, there's Archie and his sleeping Dragon Max, now, time to get down to the Qwik-E-Mart and buy some 7UP..."
Hey, it isn't bad for a first attempt. You did better than some other people I know. Just work on your spelling a bit. If you have an questions do not hesitate to ask. Better yet, sign up at the forums!
Not much of an improvement.
Wow, thats alot of text. But it is interesting and I liked it! Well done. I was too lazy to play further after I shot the airlock, hehe, but the game is well done and much better than Mario is Missing. Keep up the good work.
Isn't there already a game named assassin? At least it had a capital and was spealt correctly.
I can take a free slencer from the pawn shop without Andy stopping me.
The magical guard hidden in the marble stops me from going through a door.
The dead guy is an object.
Andy will sell me a broken guitar for 5 bucks but will give me a Rocket Launcher for free?
There is no 3rd street.
Stop making games. Please, on my knees, I beg of you.
Thana
Just when I thought the game had some decent grammer, I found the "phome bullet". Is that for the blowgun Don't they use darts? Whatever. AFter opening the toy box I didn't bother pressing on.
This is bad. Like, real bad. Ok,
I need to take the "sheild" to be "defensive" against the zombies, whatever that means. But guess what? I can't take it. Ho hum.
I can't take the dagger either, which somehow "glistens in the moonlight". I thought I was in a kitchen? Oh well, looks like I will have to face the "A pack of wolfs" weaponless.
Thana
I don't mean to be harsh, but even my first attempt was better than this one. Typing commands and not using compass commands or the inventory - removing the sidebar, it seems - isn't a good tactic for a newbie at quest.
So,
There is a key under the bed. I can't take it because there is no use for it. Does my Character know that? No. So why not take the key. It could be a magical key that has the power to shoot a massive laser at the dragon, but meh. Whatever.
Next, Even if I take/type the skillup I still can't sneak past the dragon OR fight him, making the game unbeatable.
I recommend making a game with a few rooms, uses the compass, and has items to pick up, etc.
Thana
Im sensing the little sandpit elves have poked their heads out from the cracks they came from.
If your "still working on it" then why post it?
Ugh. Im not even going to bother playing the damn thing.
Still, it completely obliterates anything you could ever make. At least we can thank you for not being a complete immature idiot and writing things like:
This is the worst game I'v seen. A very bad game. I suggest to you people: DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS GAME. SAVE YOURSELF TIME. ITS BAD!!!!!
And giving it a one star rating like most of the other retards David has spoken with have.
As for the actual game, I pretty much agree with what everyone else here has said. Original, fun, not too easy yet not too hard, not too long yet not too short. All the good elements of a great Text Adventure game.
AT
Im not even going to bother reviewing this.
I had to decide between 2 or 3 for this game. I would give it a 2 and a half but unfortunetly Alex didn't design his rating system that way so... 2.
Appalling. *cough*sandpit*cough*
To get to the one fight, speak to the wise man and ask for your stuff, then go into town and head north. (North is only unlocked once you speak to the wise man)
Another peice of crap. Seriously, no grammer whatsoever. Many spelling mistakes.
And taking the key manages to turn on the lights as well! Amazing. Appalling. And btw, there is no humor in this game whatsoever.
Oh and heres the Rating. 1 - Appalling
Prepare youself for verbal pwnage by David W.
No Room descriptions. The Characters are classified as Objects, not people. The Baseball Feld is a person, apparently. Seriosuly pathetic.
@ GAMER!
Im pretty sure you use the Knife in the Torture Room to cut off the dead guards finger, then use the finger on the Finger Print machine.
Also a 5 outta 5.
Has Ok Descriptions, but you missed out heaps of capitals. And you spelt evil wrong. Its an i not an e.
~Thana
"ready for more bad guys?"
No. Im ready for you to go and die in a corner so we can start getting some quality games back onto this site.
~Thana
This game destroys all your Sword Master Spam.
Your father obviously has better grammer than you do - maybe you should ask him to teach you some?
I give it 2.
First of all i would like to comment on the TV.
"But thats not as important as a wildebeast eating a LEAF!" XD
Then I would like to comment on WHERE ARE THE CAR KEYS???!!!
And the easy way to play this game is to click OPEN. When downloading. Worked for me :)
So yeah, were are the car keys? I get stuck in the garage and i cant get out :(
~AT
"In this game you will explore ThereIsNoMafiaHereVille, a large happy town with a powerful mafia." for one thing, there is only 5 members of the mafia, so it aint all that powerful...
There are loads of rooms with no purpose, and every object is in the game FOR a purpose... Maybe, If you make a numero 2, you should add some descriptive objects.
IE. In the Car Lot were you buy a car, if you try to kill the guy selling them, he "runs you over many times with a car" were is the car?
Its also pretty short, with only about 3 missions if my memory serves me correctly.
Other than all of the above, 5 OUTTA 5!! YOU ROCK! KICK ASS! MAKE ANOTHER ONE! WOOOO!
~ AT
What is this "Gaia" you speak of?
Very short and very boring. I like the pie though :P
The bathroom also has no meaning of existance either.
Is this your first game ever?
~ AT
All in all, slightly fun :)
but before your characters speak, add these before and after: " "
Like this: "Here take this I dont need it im serving my time in prison."
And also, try to add more full stops.
And add some variables.
This game could become a good game. And make sure it has a good storyline too.
~ AT
Ok first of all, there are a few spelling mistakes. And yes, you may think i am crazy for giving this game a 5. So here are my reasons:
1) A game doesn't need to have a story to be enjoyable.
2) The class option is awsome in my opinion.
3) Being able to kill lots of people is fun.
So yeah, you may say im insane, but i have seen NUMERO 0 other games with variables like Charm, Pistol Skill, etc. I found it enjoyable.
Now let the insults attack.
~ AT
Dear Anonymous,
This game does NOT suck, I find it actually quite interesting. I havn't completed it yet but it seems to be fun. The story is ok, but there is a lack of objects in most of the rooms. I think you should add more, and not just have the ones that are essential.
~ AT
I found this game as not one of the best, but the sneak peek seems to make it look a bit more interesting. The story is ok, but some of the object descriptions are very... descrptive. Anyway, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
~ AT
