goodbunny2

Reviews by goodbunny2

Review for Argon's Game
29 May 2021
DUDE! I love THIS!

fantastic job!
(5)

29 May 2021
Uh.... well... good.

It could be better... but i can see the effort you put in. Well done.

Check out mine while you're at it, if you want.

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader

(3)

29 May 2021
Could be better, especially since its so unrealistic with the books. Also, grammar is terrible.

Story makes no sense.

Also, don't fricking put "RavenPaw" when you can put it as "Ravenpaw"

Check out mine if you're interested though:

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(3)

29 May 2021
I mean I've seen better...

But keep up the good work! I'm sure some people are into this sorta stuff. There aren't many good warriors games out there - most of the GOOD ones are underrated. This one is okay though!

Anyway, all that aside, I do think your plot is overrated - like literally, 3 cats with a prophecy to save the clans? Sound familiar? The books themselves use that exact plot. If you want to copy it, Copy it better than THIS.

It is incredibly obvious that the three antagonists are going to be in the prophecy. Like really obvious. It makes the game lose fun with that much FORESHADOWING.

I would like you to actually SPACE OUT your freaking lines too. My eyes hurt from reading all of that... and it wasn't even worth it! This is so short with so little plot development!

Also.. FREAKING do better grammar. You've reviewed and critized many peoples' work, but yours isn't matching you're OWN standards.

But if you throw away all that, then otherwise it's great... i can see a lot of effort put into it too, so props to you! Good job on this!

Anyway, if you still aren't mad at me yet, check out my text adventure game! (warriors)

It's defiantly NOT perfect, but I'd appreciate if you reviewed or something....

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader

OK game!
(3)

27 Apr 2021
Gosh. Loved it. Best so far
(5)

Review for Warrior Cats Life
26 Apr 2021
It is amazing! I played it a couple of times through and although short it was amazing. I want to see the other games but I know it takes a while, maybe you could upload what you have worked on and just update it when you can? I don't know but I'm super excited! I'm also creating my own little game

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(3)

26 Apr 2021
It's soo good! I wish It had more. In my opinion, you can always add more choices that are dire and more choices later on, but what is really important to me is how long you play. If there is a bunch of problems but they all have one page, I bet it would have horrible reviews. But I think It has great potential. My game is here and I just updated it and you are free to comment mistakes and review it.

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(3)

I am a little confused when it was thunderstripe and not thunderpaw and then thunderwing. Could you maybe explain that? Also, my game is here if you want to review/comment on how you like it. I encourage criticism so I won't be offended, I'm always looking to improve.

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(3)

26 Apr 2021
this has a lot of potential and I played it a lot. I'm sad that you arn't updating anymore seeing as its been 2016 sense you last updated. If anyone sees this or you by any chance, you can see my game here.

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(4)

26 Apr 2021
This is amazing! I hope you update soon :'(. If you ( anyone else really,) want to check out my game it's here but It won't even compare to yours! I'm looking to edit it and if you see any mistakes don't hesitate to point it out! ty<3

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(5)

26 Apr 2021
I love this game a lot and I love that you post weekly, just as I do with my game. I actually just updated my game and I'm looking for editors to help me but no pressure. The more help with editing the better for me, I'm terrible at it, to be honest. Anyway, with all that put aside, I can't wait for it to be update! I've played it a few times even. I'm almost done with my game and I'm always looking for improvements. TY <3

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(3)

26 Apr 2021
This was really fun and I loved it but I wish it was a lot longer. If you love cats and maybe read the warrior series then here is my game. I'm always looking for people to comment on any mistakes I may have so I won't be offended. I hope you enjoy mine as much as I enjoyed yours.

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(3)

Review for Warrior Cats CYOA
26 Apr 2021
think this is very good but I'm saddened by the date of which it was last updated- 2017. I mean it's 2021 here people. If you want to check my game out, or anyone really, here it is. I just updated and I'm almost finished with the storyline and I ask anyone whos sees any mistakes to comment it so I can fix it. Editing is hard for me so feel free to help me out by rating it, no pressure though. ty <3

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(4)

26 Apr 2021
This is soo cute! if read warrior cats or like that then you can check my game out.<3

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(4)

Review for Warrior Cats
26 Apr 2021
I think its pretty good but I agree, you could add more choices and more story to it. You could also give us a choice to live our/her life. Like maybe more toms to choose from or deputy/leader or maybe a loner. But I think it's great overall and at least it's finished. By the way, I'm making one of my own, its called warrior cats swirling fate. I don't think you can find it just by searching sense it is
WIP but, here is a link :) tell me what you think please and thanks.

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3agct2hj30gbrces4oqsww/warriors-warrior-cats-swirling-fate-kit-to-leader
(1)

09 Apr 2021
useless.
Really.
(1)

06 Apr 2021
I like it but the grammar and details could be better.
(3)

06 Apr 2021
Fix your grammar.
I'm pointing out how anyone could like this, it's pretty awful. I know it's WIP, but please, do better.

Have a decent day~!
(1)

Review for Warrior Cats
04 Apr 2021
Amazing! I'm very intrigued and I think this deserves more attention. I'll wait for updates.

Though there aren't to many paths, the writing is amazing.
(5)

04 Apr 2021
Flaws:

The sentences flow on, and makes it harder to read. Ex. "As your adopted sister, after being the only survivor of your litter, and her being found at a Gathering as a newborn, you've grown to love her." I just find that sentence is hard to understand. Could u split them into sentences?

I also don't like that the choices you make have absolutely no consequence. If you ignore Squirrelpaw, she doesn't give a crap when you hunt with her.

The storyline is sorta forced on you, ex. you can't choose to stay at camp when Squirrelpaw wants to go fishing.

Personalities are kind of forced onto you. You can't choose to hate Squirrelpaw, or refuse to hunt with her.

Anyway, that's all I can say about this. Overall the story is amazing, and I like that you put a decent amount of choices. Please remember this is my opinion, and I'd love to see more of this. I can't believe no-one's commented yet. (Btw I love the names!)

(4)

04 Apr 2021
don't play this, it's a joke.
(1)

I liked the description, but the story was bland and basically you have no say in what happens. I wanted more options instead of the big lump of text I got. I don't like how your forced to talk to Sandstrike and like him, no matter what you do. I also wish you'd put an option to play as - Blizzardkit, maybe?

When you do "Sand strike", really? It's not that hard to put them together as Sandstrike. It makes the text appealing. I also see you're criticizing others when your work isn't even decent. I like the concept though, and this has potential.

I'm no expert, I just like giving advice to others. It's my personal opinion.. and I admit myself that most of my games aren't perfect either. Ty for reading :)
(2)

04 Apr 2021
IT'S AMAZING.

I've almost never come across a finished, interesting story.

The only thing I suggest is adding more options.
(5)

It's awful. I'm sorry, but I've seen better. Your story is just one lump of uninviting text. And the grammar is terrible.

Space out your lines, or paragraphs at the least. Really, put in some effort. I can name two grammar mistakes in EVERY sentence and may I add the story makes no sense.

It's boring and overall a terrible game. Would not recommend.

Ty.
(1)

03 Apr 2021
Here's my personal review.
The paragraphs were way to long, and you don't have enough choices.
I did like the storyline, but please get better grammar. It was terrible and really, I don't see enough of the background.

You seem to overexaggerate what happens, or in different cases, not explain enough of what's happening. Ex. When you follow PetalBloom, the most description I get is "oh no" or something like that. In my opinion, you should be able to tell someone or at least do something.

But instead your forced into another time skip. Time skips are "no-no" for writing stuff like this. When you do it, your story ends short and boring.

I also didn't like how you twined your stories together. It made it seem like no effort was put into it, and honestly I was interested a little in the beginning, but that cut off when the time skip happened.

Please add more detail, more choices, and plot twists. Space out your paragraphs and make the story worth reading. Try to be decent with your grammar and describe the background. Don't overexaggerate her giving birth, that's disgusting.

It's my PERSONAL opinion, and that's it. I hope you can make this better and improve from what I said. I'm not a writing expert, but you can use my advice.

Concluded :)
(2)


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